Wario Dating Sim

Crescent-Moon Villager

Nameless moon-presence
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1,813
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0
Coins
1,813
#1
You are laying on a filthy though admittedly comfy bed, with bits of garlic and pastry crumbs strewn everywhere. The sheets had evidently not been washed in a very long time, if ever. You didn't care--beside you lay the man of your dreams. You had played his games before, sometimes even 100%ed them, always admired the man from afar. Now he was yours, and you were his. "You-a look so excellent tonight, wahaha!" he roared in that thick Italian accent you adored so much. You had done up your hair tonight just the way he liked, and you loved the way he looked at you with those beady, black eyes. He gives you a kiss on the cheek and you blush, the scent of his garlic-y breath assaulting your nostrils and inflaming your passions. He sidles closer to you, his rotund potbelly pressing sensually against your body.

He wraps his strong, muscular arms around you and brings your face close to his. You can't help but admire the way the light reflects off his large, bulbous pink nose and greasy black moustache. You're blushing madly now, and he winks at you and gives a cheeky grin, exposing his pearly, filmy teeth. He sits up in bed and begins to unbutton his dungarees, his brawny shoulders now freed from the tight, confining straps. When the second strap is undone, his potgut spills over the brim of his dungarees like a waterfall of flab, jiggling a few times before finally coming to rest. His belly button now puckered before you, housing the biggest wad of dryer lint you've ever seen. He then began to strip off his yellow, sweat-stained shirt (it was white when he bought it), and flung it over his shoulder before giving a hearty laugh; "WAHAHAHA!"

"Wario... I'm all yours" you moan.
 

Frediculous

Legendary Thief
Coins
527
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0
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527
#3
If only...

On another note, there is actually a Wario dating sim out there, except you play as the man himself!
 

Crescent-Moon Villager

Nameless moon-presence
Coins
1,813
Points
0
Coins
1,813
#5
"Wah? What are you guys doin' in my house?" Wario grunted with an air of surprise. "Heheh, the fans are always wanting a piece of the Wah!". Wario grabbed Angler of Lake Asparagus by the arm and dragged him closer. AoLA blushed shyly, somewhat hesitant but not wanting to pass up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It was well-known by everyone that AoLA had always admired Wario, even going as far as to join an online forum entirely dedicated to him. AoLA had even secretly fantasized about dancing de Mambo with Wario late into the night.

Wario pulled him closer and began passionately necking AoLA, Wario's strong, clefted chin buried in AoLA's clavicle, and Wario's thin, dry lips and zigzag stache tickling AoLA's skin.
 

MonaWare

Sewn to our side
Diamond City Insider
Coins
5,749
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0
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5,749
User Name Style Change
#6
Pffft, he was for real doing this stuff with me except with Luigi instead of Wario last night. He even went on about his greasy mustach.

He cleary has some creepy fetish over the Mario bros : p
 

Metal

Get on I'm a bus I can take you anywhere
Coins
41,286
Points
0
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41,286
Rocking Horse Robot
#9
I, uhh.... I feel violated, yet strangely thrilled. It's like going on a scary ride at the funfair. Very hard to read all the way through, but I pressed on and felt proud with myself once the ride was over.

You have my sympathies Mona. CMV proves the pen is mightier than the sword. Yikes...
"Wah? What are you guys doin' in my house?" Wario grunted with an air of surprise. "Heheh, the fans are always wanting a piece of the Wah!". Wario grabbed Angler of Lake Asparagus by the arm and dragged him closer. AoLA blushed shyly, somewhat hesitant but not wanting to pass up this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It was well-known by everyone that AoLA had always admired Wario, even going as far as to join an online forum entirely dedicated to him. AoLA had even secretly fantasized about dancing de Mambo with Wario late into the night.

Wario pulled him closer and began passionately necking AoLA, Wario's strong, clefted chin buried in AoLA's clavicle, and Wario's thin, dry lips and zigzag stache tickling AoLA's skin.

"Mona says it's my turn to take Angler-chan on a date" quickly proclaimed the raw branded universal champion Brock Lesnar

Brock Lesnar begins to lift Wario up giving him an F5 and then picking Angler-chan up with his powerful muschalls and takes him to an In-an-Out Burger
 

Crescent-Moon Villager

Nameless moon-presence
Coins
1,813
Points
0
Coins
1,813
#12
In order to satiate Just a Wario Fan's sexual appetite, Crescent-Moon Villager reluctantly types a lengthy and explicit conclusion to the OP, featuring gratuitous use of ground-pounding and zigzag mustache-rides. Unfortunately, none of it could be posted due to certain rules concerning NSFW content on the posting medium. Dissatisfied, JaWF wanders off in search of other ways to slake his lust for more weird Wario fetish content.
 

Just a Wario Fan

Next to me, you're all number two!
Coins
3,939
Points
0
Coins
3,939
CD Game BOI Advance - Pre-Sale Edition! User Name Style Change An Item
#13
In order to satiate Just a Wario Fan's sexual appetite, Crescent-Moon Villager reluctantly types a lengthy and explicit conclusion to the OP, featuring gratuitous use of ground-pounding and zigzag mustache-rides. Unfortunately, none of it could be posted due to certain rules concerning NSFW content on the posting medium. Dissatisfied, JaWF wanders off in search of other ways to slake his lust for more weird Wario fetish content.
No self-insertion fanfic? Well okay then...
 

Crescent-Moon Villager

Nameless moon-presence
Coins
1,813
Points
0
Coins
1,813
#15
"Mona says it's my turn to take Angler-chan on a date" quickly proclaimed the raw branded universal champion Brock Lesnar

Brock Lesnar begins to lift Wario up giving him an F5 and then picking Angler-chan up with his powerful muschalls and takes him to an In-an-Out Burger


Seeing this as an opportunity to assert his dominance, Wario grapples Brock Lesnar and wild swing-dings him into the air. As he is airborne, Wario leaps into the air and grabs Lesnar before piledriving him into the earth, creating a massive crater and dealing 9999 damage. Before Brock Lesnar has a chance to recover, Wario wild swing-dings him again, this time generating enough centrifugal force to launch Lesnar out of earth's gravity field. Lesnar ricochets off of Orbulon's spaceship and hurtles into the sun, never to be heard from again.
 

Metal

Get on I'm a bus I can take you anywhere
Coins
41,286
Points
0
Coins
41,286
Rocking Horse Robot
#16
Seeing this as an opportunity to assert his dominance, Wario grapples Brock Lesnar and wild swing-dings him into the air. As he is airborne, Wario leaps into the air and grabs Lesnar before piledriving him into the earth, creating a massive crater and dealing 9999 damage. Before Brock Lesnar has a chance to recover, Wario wild swing-dings him again, this time generating enough centrifugal force to launch Lesnar out of earth's gravity field. Lesnar ricochets off of Orbulon's spaceship and hurtles into the sun, never to be heard from again.
As Brock Lesnar flung into space he crashed into a meteorite which was actually Lavos anus and was shot right back into the same orbit that he was thrown by wario. As he brought back a new more powerful entity as he picked up from 9-volts garage, yes it was! The most unimaginably unpredictable wario character to date FRONK!

As Brock Lesnar began to ask Fronk to give him his power in order to defeat the greedy walking garbage can. Fronk agrees and the two become the most powerful being in all dimensions, FRONK LESNAR!! As he landed ontop of Wario much as a hotdog lands on a bun the impact had shattered Wario's face, as Fronk Lesnar begins to pick and lift him up he uttered these words into Wario's ears. " What was I feeling... I was feeling the pain that was what I was feeling *nervously chuckles* You seen that I landed on my N O G G I N, but ya gotta ask yourself why... "

No words needn't be spoken not in the arms of a great monster as he begins to slowly grip and pull wario throwing him down like a beaten british harlot, down into the wrestling table.

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