What's something embarrassing that only you know about? (let's try to keep it SFW from now on, please)

tahutoa

tahutoa

Has "it." Fragile musician. Odd, means well.
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edit #2: okay guys, let's try to keep the nsfw stuff to a small degree now. It clearly bothers some people (like NinjaCat) on one end, but on the other end also attracts people like Xander who won't take the goddamn hint and stop posting thinly-veiled fetish content already.
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warning: this thread as a whole is probably nsfw, it's already gone down the toilet; you should expect it to be humiliating and/or gross, but really what the fuck did you expect, the title has "only you know about it" in it.
I don't wanna see anyone stopping by just to make a post shaming participants, either, it takes guts to say some of this shit.
To start us off, a polarizingly innocent one.

I remember one time when I was 12 I went into my 3DS Notes tab, and tried to draw Mickey Mouse legitimately... and his face ended up looking like Sonic the fuckin' Hedgehog-- I even put in the goddamn smirk, God I was so humiliated. I binned that shit instantaneously.
 
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Tfw you draw anatomically correct penises at 24. Its not regular immaturity, it's ascended immaturity.

As for embarrassing facts? I once sharted myself in middleschool, and went the whole day w/ dirty undies.
 
Crescent-Moon Villager said:
Tfw you draw anatomically correct penises at 24. Its not regular immaturity, it's ascended immaturity.
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Okay, good. At least then you have the out of it being sexy instead of just childish.
Crescent-Moon Villager said:
As for embarrassing facts? I once sharted myself in middle school, and went the whole day w/ dirty undies.
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I couldn't have done that, no way. I wouldn't care how much I got teased for it, it just would not be worth it, I would have to get my hands on some fresh stuff somehow.

BRRING BRRING hello? yeah mom i farted and poop came out help me ples
 
Now we're on the topic anyway, this made me think of an incident a few months ago: I was suffering from a severe case of diarrhea, and I was taking a shower when I suddenly felt ¨the urge¨, but since I was completely wet and the toilet was occupied anyway, I decided to just go ahead and shat in the bathtub. It was very thin, so there was no risk of clogging the drain anyway.
I can totally imagine Wario doing the very same thing if he was in the same situation tbh.
 
At some point before my 18th birthday but after my 17th, I finally discovered how to actually jack off properly, and I accidentally hurt myself the third time I did it, and because of that my dick was swollen for about a day, no way was I gonna tell anyone about that. Ever since then, though, my weiner's been two-tone, with a slightly darker break in between 'cause I think the melanin flow got fucked up somehow. ((apparently that's called hyperpigmentation.))
So yeah (almost) every time I go to the bathroom now I'm reminded of that time I goddamn hurt myself jacking off.
 
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tahutoa said:
At some point before my 18th birthday but after my 17th, I finally discovered how to actually jack off properly, and I accidentally hurt myself the third time I did it, and my dick got all swollen for about a day-- no way was I gonna tell anyone about that. Ever since then, though, my weiner's been two-tone, with a slightly darker break in between 'cause I think the melanin flow got fucked up somehow.
So yeah every time I go to the bathroom now I'm reminded of that time I goddamn hurt myself jacking off.
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Well at least nobody saw it. As I've told about before, I once got caught wanking in the school restrooms by some prick who peeked into my cubicle. :wah:
 
tahutoa said:
At some point before my 18th birthday but after my 17th, I finally discovered how to actually jack off properly, and I accidentally hurt myself the third time I did it, and my dick got all swollen for about a day-- no way was I gonna tell anyone about that. Ever since then, though, my weiner's been two-tone, with a slightly darker break in between 'cause I think the melanin flow got fucked up somehow.
So yeah every time I go to the bathroom now I'm reminded of that time I goddamn hurt myself jacking off.
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STOP
 
Ninja_Cat said:
STOP
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Fine, God. I'm sorry, that was a bit much.

to be fair, though, what did you expect to come from this thread, "oh, one time i slammed a door on my shirt and almost fell over"... which is admittedly hilarious but not actually embarrassing. I've edited the thread to warn people so we don't get more incidents like this.
 
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I once injured myself with a straight razor and I got a nasty cut. With cut I don't mean a small ordinary shaving cut, but a really large one that made my blood gush out like a butchered animal. This is of course not something that only I know about, as the wound was visible on my face for like two weeks. More embarassing however is that it made the bathroom look like a murder scene and I had trouble with removing the blood from the tile joints. But the most embarassing was how I got that cut in the first place: I got distracted by the leaking showerhead. :shokorameep:

Lesson learned: don't ever let distract yourself when handling sharp objects. They say ¨razor sharp¨ for a reason.
 
The internal contents of UmJammer Lammy's brain (which I also occasionally :warioicon: off to, as I also have to the ear/brain variant of Thanus):

2188182_xandermartin98_image.jpg
 
xandermartin98 said:
The internal contents of UmJammer Lammy's brain (which I also occasionally :warioicon: off to, as I also have to the ear/brain variant of Thanus):

2188182_xandermartin98_image.jpg
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Ok I've warned you plenty of times and I'm just gonna outright say it now. Please STOP talking about your brain fetish and hard-on for Lammy. (Also this thread is likely to get closed.)
 
Magma said:
Ok I've warned you plenty of times and I'm just gonna outright say it now. Please STOP talking about your brain fetish and hard-on for Lammy. (Also this thread is likely to get closed.)
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From the second I saw that it was Xander posting in this thread I thought to myself "oh, no, goddammit now what's he gonna say"

if you outright deleted this thread I would not shed a tear. This was back when I would post things while affected by sleep deprivation, and I regret it
 
Magma said:
Ok I've warned you plenty of times and I'm just gonna outright say it now. Please STOP talking about your brain fetish and hard-on for Lammy. (Also this thread is likely to get closed.)
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If you feel you have to close this thread, then so be it, but please leave it open as long as nobody posts things like that.
How can brains be a fetish anyway? It's not even an external body part ffs.
 
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