I'm trying...it just seems like sometimes, when I try to do something good, it just gets tossed back in my face.
Yeah, maybe my methods aren't perfect by any means...but sometimes, you're forced to let the madness run its course when you've done literally everything.
We all go through things like that now and then. Just keep strong, and know that you've been doing everything you can. You can't be too hard on yourself for that.
I felt a lot like what you're feeling, but unlike you I had Ashley to turn to, maybe find something you really love and...just love it all the time? lol, I dunno. Best wishes anyways, get well soon.