If you don't know what I mean here, all the treasures you could find in Wario Master of Disguise and Wario Land Shake It had funny descriptions that you could read in the menu. Some of my favourites include:
Hypno Specs
Hypnotize your friends! Hypnotize your enemies! Basically, just hypnotize everybody!
Hotter Sauce
Hotter than any normal hot sauce. No, hotter than that. Hotter. Keep going...
Train Timetable
A schedule for the Derailed Express. Huh. It's scheduled to derail at 4:15. Weird.
Rainbow Toucan
Some birds fly so high that they become rainbows. This bird is just wearing makeup.
Air Guitar
Rock out anywhere and anytime with this nonexistent axe. WHOOOOO!
Ghost Potion
One sip and you'll turn into a ghost... Wait, isn't that just poison?
Magic Lamp
This lamp issues a thick smoke when rubbed. That's all it does. What were you expecting?
Energy Drink
Looks like cough syrup. Tastes kind of like cough syrup, too. Wait a minute...
Friendly Clown Autograph
Clownie the clown is the least frightening of all clowns, which is why his autograph is highly prized among coulrophobics. ...Go look it up.
"Rare" Collectable Figurine
This super-rare Cannoli figurine is one of only 65,535 in existence. It emits a somewhat oily scent when rubbed. Order yours today! Supply is limited!
Spangly Celebrity Garb
Some believe that simply donning this spangly outfit will transform you into a famous movie star! Others think such things require actual talent.
Brilliant Bug
A weirdly beautiful bug that glows in 16,777,216 colors. If you stare at it, it shows the color you wish most to see. If you stare too long, you go color-blind.
Paranoid Bear Carving
It may look like a nice little bear carving, but it's actually a malevolent alien robot sent to spy on your every move. Don't turn around.
Really Boring Firework
This looks like a dull firework, but many feel it to be a true piece of avant-garde art that expresses the depth of the human search for existence in ways heretofore unseen. ...But it's still dull.
Note from Ed: Also known as 'most indie games'.
Game and Watch 9000
An amazing handheld game unit with FIFTY screens! When unfolded, it takes up as much space as a timeshare condo.
Vengeful Robot Controller
This remote allows you to summon a giant robot hidden deep within the bowels of the earth and unleash him on your unsuspecting enemies. But it's out of batteries.
Forbidden Cheat Sheet
This hidden cheat sheet is 100% undetectable, and so effective that it has been banned from the classroom by international treaty.
Super Mega Trump Card
This card always beats all of the other cards on the table, no matter what game you're playing. Even solitaire.
And in the UK version of Wario Land Shake It...
The message in a bottle treasure mentions the writer about to drown in a bottle factory that's slowly filling up with water. Unfortunately, I can't find the text for it. Yet.
So yeah, what are your favourite treasure descriptions in the Wario Land series?
Hypno Specs
Hypnotize your friends! Hypnotize your enemies! Basically, just hypnotize everybody!
Hotter Sauce
Hotter than any normal hot sauce. No, hotter than that. Hotter. Keep going...
Train Timetable
A schedule for the Derailed Express. Huh. It's scheduled to derail at 4:15. Weird.
Rainbow Toucan
Some birds fly so high that they become rainbows. This bird is just wearing makeup.
Air Guitar
Rock out anywhere and anytime with this nonexistent axe. WHOOOOO!
Ghost Potion
One sip and you'll turn into a ghost... Wait, isn't that just poison?
Magic Lamp
This lamp issues a thick smoke when rubbed. That's all it does. What were you expecting?
Energy Drink
Looks like cough syrup. Tastes kind of like cough syrup, too. Wait a minute...
Friendly Clown Autograph
Clownie the clown is the least frightening of all clowns, which is why his autograph is highly prized among coulrophobics. ...Go look it up.
"Rare" Collectable Figurine
This super-rare Cannoli figurine is one of only 65,535 in existence. It emits a somewhat oily scent when rubbed. Order yours today! Supply is limited!
Spangly Celebrity Garb
Some believe that simply donning this spangly outfit will transform you into a famous movie star! Others think such things require actual talent.
Brilliant Bug
A weirdly beautiful bug that glows in 16,777,216 colors. If you stare at it, it shows the color you wish most to see. If you stare too long, you go color-blind.
Paranoid Bear Carving
It may look like a nice little bear carving, but it's actually a malevolent alien robot sent to spy on your every move. Don't turn around.
Really Boring Firework
This looks like a dull firework, but many feel it to be a true piece of avant-garde art that expresses the depth of the human search for existence in ways heretofore unseen. ...But it's still dull.
Note from Ed: Also known as 'most indie games'.
Game and Watch 9000
An amazing handheld game unit with FIFTY screens! When unfolded, it takes up as much space as a timeshare condo.
Vengeful Robot Controller
This remote allows you to summon a giant robot hidden deep within the bowels of the earth and unleash him on your unsuspecting enemies. But it's out of batteries.
Forbidden Cheat Sheet
This hidden cheat sheet is 100% undetectable, and so effective that it has been banned from the classroom by international treaty.
Super Mega Trump Card
This card always beats all of the other cards on the table, no matter what game you're playing. Even solitaire.
And in the UK version of Wario Land Shake It...
The message in a bottle treasure mentions the writer about to drown in a bottle factory that's slowly filling up with water. Unfortunately, I can't find the text for it. Yet.
So yeah, what are your favourite treasure descriptions in the Wario Land series?
