Worst Video Game Characters Ever: Bluster Kong

Wario Man

Wario Man

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Just in case you've never watched the DKC cartoon, here are some starring a horrible character, Bluster.

Why:

-Total dick to DK and Diddy.

-Will do anything to get Candy's love, even steal the Crystal Coconut.

-Always tries to look good, but fails.

-Stalks DK in the episode, Get a Life, Don't Save One.

-A total scaredy cat and a baby to situations.

-Has a horrible wig as part of the Banana Bowlers.

-At least stole the Coconut like three times.

-He thinks he's "benevolent", but he sucks.

That's all for now, and do post who you want next.

No mean comments.

Thanks.
 
Donkey is a poor man's Bluster Kong. Bluster Kong's rich, layered characterization was the reason I have a Bluster Kong tattoo on my inner thigh. Under it? Comic sans lettering that reads "BITCHES DIG DA MAN YO." Bluster Kong embodies a carefree individualism that inspires me on a daily basis.

At my nephew's funeral I was "escorted" from the cemetery premises because my "drunken yelping" about Bluster Kong was apparently "highly inappropriate" and "disrespectful". My nephew was a Donkey Kong fan. A fan of that fucking circus reject. Sure my nephew passed far too young but Bluster Kong said it best in my Bluster Kong fanfic, "From my Corporatist Utopia, I Watch the World Scream: Part 1", when he dryly uttered, "Burn in hell, chimp. Burn in hell." ”
 
I really do have a Bluster Kong tattoo on my inner thigh, I really did write a multipart Bluster Kong fanfiction and the above is in no way copy pasted from Donkey Kong Universe.
 
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Oh, Bluster isn't a video game character, that's true.

But that's only because if he was, the game wouldn't properly convey his awesomeness. You'd have to try a new method of programming just to get close.

That man is too good for games, let me tell ya.
 
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