What seemed like an average afternoon in the Rolfe house would become a nightmare. Mike and his co-star James were recording another very exciting episode of Mike & James Mondays when suddenly, a large African American male broke in through the front door. "GIMMIE DA GAMES" he roared. "What a diarrhea piece of shit!" James whimpered as he began to urinate in his pants. It was at this moment, Mike had had enough. "You niggers are all the same..." said Mike as he stood up confidently, a half smirk on his face. "But it is the skinny WHITE male that has the most powerful cock." Mike began to unzip his trousers for what would be the reveal of a lifetime. As his pants dropped, they slowly revealed a thick, veiny, seemingly endless penis. Entirely flaccid, Mike held the base of his shaft with a firm grip and started swinging his dick around in a circle as he slowly approached the criminal. "FUGG YOU HONKIES IS FUCKIN' CRAY NIGGA" he screamed. But it was too late. With what would've felt like the force of a freight train, Mike whipped him in the face with his 10 inch flaccid cock, instantly knocking him to the ground. "It's like in Castlevania II: Simon's Quest." He muttered before wrapping his penis around the negro's neck and choking him to death. "Next time you'll think twice about interrupting Contra. Or not. Nigger." Mike took a moment to catch his breath before turning to a horrified James in the corner of the room and laughing like a seal.
When CheatMaster says we is de best fanbase
We WAH, WAH, in CM30's face
Not to love Cheat Master is a great disgrace
So we WAH, WAH, in CM30's face
When der ShyGüy says Wariö Land master race
We WAH, WAH, right in der ShyGüy's face
When der Röbin says Ashley he will displace
We WAH, WAH, right in der Röbin's face
Is we not de Wariömen?
Ja, we is de Wariömen
Süper düper Wariömen
Is zis Wariö Forums so good
Would you leave it if you could?
Ja, this Wariö Forums is good
We wouldn't leave it if we could
We bring Discörd new order
Heil Cheat Master's shoutbox New Order
Every Ashleyfag in space
Will love Wariö's face
When we bring to the fandom disorder
When Cheat Master says we never will be slaves
We WAH, WAH, but still we're Nintendo's slaves
While Nintendo brags, and lies and rants and raves
We WAH, WAH, and post into our graves
I've come to make an announcement: Metal's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his loli fuckin' hentai dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my WarioForums.com. Metal, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. I farded, I shidded, and camed in pants, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck all Ashleyfags. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on Ashleyfags. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on ASHLEEEEY! How do you like that, KO TAKEUCHI? I PISSED ON ASHLEY, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking Ashleyfag conventions, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!