I finally did what I said I was going to do, and fixed the vocals, tried to get as close as possible to John's cadence and pitch bending, I think I did rather well. I ALSO fixed the Swing, so instead of playing the swing notes on the 4th sixteenths (2 blocks from the next measure as I would know it), they now play about 2 and 1/2 blocks from the next measure, give or take depending on the point in the song.
As a clever way of getting around Wario Land 4's limited simultaneous instrument capacity (that rhythm guitar is LAYERED my negro), I made a separate project file dedicated to splitting the rhythm guitar into its individual components-- on average, every chord sees about 6 notes played at once (due to some number of harmonics heard irl, I'd imagine, or possibly because, since George wasn't particularly busy outside of some pre-recorded guitar solos, he played as a second rhythm guitar-- it'd certainly explain why there was more than 3 notes playing on one channel, but anyway). I split the rhythm guitar(s?) into six separate channels, then spent the next little while arranging them like a good puppet master.
What I ended up going with was a compromise between Direct and Indirect Sounds to make sure that as many of the chords' notes were retained as possible. The highest and lowest layers were made indirect sounds, a 12.5% pulse and 50% pulse, respectively. The fourth, fifth, and third layers (in terms of bottom to top) were made indirect sounds.
The Fourth and Fifth layers were placed in one channel together (aptly named "4th 'n 5th"), set to [63,2] Hotel Horror Strings, the original sound that all these chords'd been set to, and because I'm such a Clever Trevor, I set the Third layer to [30,2] Arabian Nights BG (similar to [63,2], this instrument's sample is a "double sample", so to speak-- it plays whatever note, but ALSO that same note one octave higher), and then I moved this layer one octave lower than it technically should've been, so as to give off the illusion that more notes were being played than there actually were. This is because a given chord for IOS's Rhythm Guitars will vary between having 2-3 iterations of the same note (usually D#/Eb) but on different octaves.
After all that was done, I updated the chords' color-coded "echo notes" to have the proper swing, used the scroll wheel in conjunction with the shift key to give it that strum effect, changed the fine pitch for the Highest to be -6 cents, the Third to be +3 cents, and First to be +3 cents. The end result was something fabulous, and a really sneaky marvel if I do say so myself. PLUS, because of these techniques being employed, you'd have to be really paying attention to know when the Second layer was even missing.
also it's in the wrong key lol