So lemme get this straight, one £50 game, a whole ass expansion and a DLC pack for a straight-up RIP-OFF of Mario Kart, with half the charm and none of the fun, wasn't even enough for this bratty piece of shit, huh? All of that, for nothing. Because well lookee here, looks like we have another shit-show of a game made by that cheap-bucking child called Ryan's Rescue Squad. OmG, wE GeT To pUnCh lEgO BlOcKs aNd cOlLeCt sHiNe sPrItEs wHiLsT ExPlOrInG ThE EmPtIeSt aNd eAsIeSt lEvElS KnOwN To mAn? Oh, I'M So eXcItEd!!1!1!1!1 This is easily the WORST game I have ever seen in my life and I am NOT, never will waste hard-earned cash to play this amalgamation, or ANY Ryan games for that matter. Imagine this, take a fresh copy of New Super Mario Bros, cover it in slime, mud and life-threatening diseases, and as if my magic, and as ugly as a mandrake, Ryan's Rescue Squad is born. If I had to say at least ONE good thing about Ryan's Racing, it graphically at least looks okay. Maybe not that good, but not that bad either. Ryan's Rescue Squad's graphics, however, are so bad that it makes a baby scribbling on walls with paint look like a painting made by Vincent Van Gogh for all I know. And don't even get me started on the plot... Ryan and his friends were kidnapped by the evil BOWS- oh I mean Dark Ryan and now they have to collect Shine Sprites (straight ripped from Sunshine) to get back! What a plot, defos doesn't seem like a combination of Odyssey and, well, pretty much every other Mario game. This game is so easy and so stupid that it makes pressing an elevator button looks as impossible as jumping off the Grand Canyon and surviving. And although I haven't played the actual game, I heard about the boss battles and BOY WAS I STEAMED! Now lemme tell all of you, I LOVE my boss battles in a video game (which is why I love Cuphead and Kirby for such reasons.) Fighting a really strong unique enemy with multiple attacks and phases makes the game way more fun and interesting. But they ruined it ALL. So lemme get this correct, the boss goes as follows. They fly really slowly towards one side of the screen, shoot down the EASIEST bullets to dodge whilst moving SUPER SLOWLY to the other side and then does this OVER AND OVER. No second phase? No other attacks? And THEY LITERALLY DIE IN ONE HIT!? AND THE "FINAL BOSS" IS A BOSS RUSH OF THE PREVIOUS 3 BOSSES!? NOT TO ADD THAT SAID BOSSES HAVE THE EXACT SAME GIMMICKS AND ATTACKS WITH THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BEING THAT EACH BOSS'S MOVEMENT AS YOU FURTHER PROGRESS ONLY GETS MARGINALLY FASTER!? WERE THE FUCKING GAME DEVELOPERS HIGH WHEN THEY DID THIS? WAS THIS A GOOD IDEA TO RYAN BECAUSE THAT SHITASS SURE HAS NO IMAGINATION TO THINK SO! The game is also only 2 HOURS long and the Story Mode is the only option? No extra mini games, no boss rush modes, nothing? That's it? So much for £50 Ryan. And the biggest insult of them all? Every characters has the same functions. No uniqueness, no style, nothing. No heavies, no lightweights, all characters are equal. Huh, Ryan really is a communist to think that. As a person who has played many beautiful video games from all sorts of developers and appreciated all of them for their charm and beauty, I am shocked, disgusted, horrified and disappointed that this game, and even Ryan's Racing, were given the green light. It saddens me that innocent pure kids decide to waste their parents' hard-earned cash to play this junk and hope to become like that disgusting influencer Ryan one day. We need to put a stop to this, because this growth in popularity means that Ryan could take over the game industry and ruin all of the games we know and love. We need to protect gaming, we need to stop Ryan once and for all, before it is too late...