hubworld23

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Hey Guys, Before we Begin I Wanna Give A Shoutout to A User By The Name Of
The 3rd Wario Brother
For Inspiring Me to Remake this Chapter For My Crossover Fanfic... So Thanks Man!:)
Now Onto The Story tell Me what you think about the First Chapter In The Comments Feedback Is Appreciated!;)


Toadette: And… We’re Done!*She says as she then puts her toolbox Away…*

Peach: Thanks Toadette for helping Me Out with the Sign…*She said Sweetly As she then begins to sit down… as she then waited for her Guests to Arrive…*

Toadette: No Problem Princess, I’m just happy to help Out A Friend!*She then Whistles as she then Called Out to her Crew By Yelling Out As she then said By the Top Of Her Lungs…* LUNCH BREAK!!!*She Shouted to her Crew As she then Blew her Whistle as hard as she can…*

Worker Toads: FINALLY!!!*The Shouted In Relief as they all sighed… They then follow their boss onto where she is going!*

Toadette: We are all Going to check out Daisy’s Brand New Bar that she just Opened up Like A week Ago I’m Gettin’ My Favorite A Raspberry Mushroom For Me! Bye Peach Remember if you need Any help just Give Me A Call!*She says to the Mushroom Princess as she and her crew went to The Bar…*

Peach: Ok, You All have Fun!*She said with A Smile as she began to wait Patiently for Her Guests to Arrive!*

Meanwhile, In Hyrule, Both Link & Zelda Are About to Leave Until Midna Shows up as she then said In Concern…

Midna: Now Hold On There You Two, While You’ll be in the Mushroom Kingdom Celebrating Mario’s Birthday Party for A Couple Of Weeks… Who’s Gonna watch over the Kingdom while You Guys Are Away?

Zelda: Well Who else Mid? You…*She says with A Smile On her Face!*

Midna: Of Course Gotcha… I-*Then she says In Shock as her eyes then Widened In Fear* ME??? Why Me Zelda??? Couldn’t we just call Someone Else to take care Hyrule Besides I Wanna go to his party Too!*She Said with A Huff as the Mischievous Imp then Crossed Her Arms!*

Link: *He Then Said to his Girlfriend with A Sassy Grin on his face as he told her with Reassurance…* Well Someone Has to look after Both The Castle AND Hyrule While we are Away Babe, Besides Say if Someone Like Gannon Took Over I mean I could Imagine The WOR-

Midna: *Who Is now both Annoyed And Bored as she then shouts at him while Remarking…* OK, I GET IT!!! Hyrule Will be In Danger If I Screw Up I already Had Enough Letcher’s from you When you were A Wolf…*She then Says with A Sigh as she then says with Concern in her voice as she adds by Saying…* Also, It’s Just I’m gonna miss you Link It’s just I don’t Wanna Lose You Again After You Know…

Link: I Know Babe I know… But I’m here now Right and that’s all it Matters Besides I have your number so I can call you Ya… Besides, It will only be A Couple Of Weeks I’m gonna come Right back when we return plus You're Pretty Strong So I have full faith in you that you will do just fine besides you Helped me before dealing with Gannon And Zant Right???*He Said As put his Arm Around Her as he then replied with A Smirk…* Plus there's Butload’s A Food with Your name on It Mid…

Midna: *She then Smiles as she then says…* I guess your- HANG ON DID YOU SAY FOOD!???*She said with Excitement In her Voice as her Eyes then Glimmer as she then Salutes to him As she then Reassured him with Confidence by Saying…* You Can Count On Me Don’t Worry The Kingdom will be In Good Hands while you two are Away You can Count On Me Now About the Food, *She said Slyly to Him while Rubbing her Hands!*

Link: It’s In the Fridge… You can’t miss It!*He said with A Smile!*

Midna: Great!*Her stomach then starts to Rumble Quite Loudly at the Mention of Food… She then responded with A Giggle as she then Transformed Into her human Form As she finally then Says to them with A Wink while patting her Belly…* Welp, Looks like this Greedy O’l Gut Of Mine Is ready for that food you said earlier Link Well even if I can’t Go Could you at least give him this Present for him on your Way there Julia Tia And I Thought it up beforehand…*She said to him as she then passes Him the Gift as she then Winks by Saying…* No Peeking Link Remember This is for Big Red Not You Got It?

Link: *Who is Now both Amazed and Curious as he then looked at The Well Crafted Gift Box as he Then said to The Hylian Princess as he then tosses to her by Saying…* Zeld You gotta check out This Gift Box That Midna made for the Party!!!*

Zelda: GAH!!!* She Says As she then fell Down To The Grass…* HEY!!!! BeCareful Where You Throw That Gift To… Besides, *She then says as she lifted herself up as she Held the Gift Box as she then Remarks By Saying* It’s Just A Normal Present I Mean It’s Probably Not That Big Of A Deal Anyway besides we Gotta Go Peach Is Waiting For Us!*


Meanwhile At Peach’s Castle…

Peach: *Who is now Trying to Not Fall Asleep While waiting For Her Guests to Arrive She Then Looks At A Random Pink and Purple Tree As she then Quickly Runs To It while Seeing The Pink and Violet Polkadot “Hammock” As The Mushroom Princess Began to Say with A Yawn!* Oooh Goodness My now TH- YAWNNN!!!! Ok, Scratch That, Now THAT’S A Really Huge Yawn… Geez, No- YAWNN None Of This Would Have… YAWNNNNNN Happened If I Just Listened To Egadd UGH!*She Said As she then Facepalmed In Frustration As Then…*

Earlier That Day while she Including The other Toads were Setting Up The Party…

Peach:*She was then Humming to one of her Theme Songs As she then Looked At The Checklist As she said the Following...* Alright Everyone, Let’s Recap Just to Make Sure we have Everything Ok?

All:*All Of her Subjects Understood as they then waited on what The Mushroom Princess had to Say…As then Say with Tons Of Cheerfulness and Spirit In There Voices as they Then Shouted By Saying!!!* YES PRINCESS PEACH!!!*They Said as they then jumped and laughed to hear what their Princess had to Say…*

Peach: AHH!!!!*She was Then Blown Away Literally by the overwhelming Excitement from her subjects… “Golly, they SURE like to Work A Lot Huh?”*She said as she then thought to herself as she then Added by saying* Am I Really being too Soft on these Guys?*She said as she then rubbed her head with A blush of Red as A tear came from her forehead…* *She then took A Sigh as she quickly cleans her Crown with her elbow seeing herself as she then smiles at herself as she then puts the crown on her head as she then grabbed the list while Reading the Following:

Peach: Balloons?
Toad: Check!*He said while blowing up another balloon as he then passed it to Toadbert who then let it float all the way up to as then Toadette then grabbed the balloon as right before she was about to tie up the balloon as just then POP!*

Toadette: GAH!!!!*She said in A bit of Shock as she then began to wobble trying really hard not to fall in the Process…*

Peach: Is everything Alright?*She Asked while looking up and tilted her head in Confusion…*

Toadette: Yup! Everything Is Just Fine… Right Boys? *She told them Giving them A Wink while looking Down below…*

Toadbert: Yuparooney Just fine By Boogatiy!

Toad: *He then gave A Thumbs Up to the Young Mushroom Princess As he then said…* We Are doing A-OK, Your Highness, We’ve Got It from Here!*He said to her with Reassurance.*

Peach: Well… If your Sure then I’ll Go Now Remember If you need Any Help Jus-

Toadette: Don’t Worry About A Thing Go On… We have got Everything From Here Right Guys?*She said with Reassurance…*

Both: Right!*The Duo Said with Pride!*

Peach: Well, Alright Then… Just be Careful!*The Mushroom Princess Then Said as she then Walks Away…*

Toadette: Will Do!*She Responded Joyfully!* Alright Guys, Back to Work!

A Montage Then Begins to Start As Princess Peach Then starts to continue with her Checklist…

Peach: Let’s See… Do we have The Food & Drin-

Lyra: *Then Starts Drinking The Punch and Begins to Eat Some Chips… As She Then Looks At Peach While Blushing Bright Blue!* I’m… *Just Then Her Stomach then begins to Rumble Quite Loudly…* BURRRP!!!! It Wasn’t Me Aunt Peach…*Then She Burped Out The Following.* HONESSSSTY!!!!*Now Embarrassed Blushing Bluer On Her Face… She The Floats Away In The Process!*

Peach: *...* *She Then Sighs As She then Says In Dismay…* Right, Do We Have A Clown? Where’s The Clown I Hired For The Party?*She Said As she then Called Out!* ToadStrootle...

ToadStrootle: Oui Votre Altesse?(Yes Your Highness?)

Peach: Do You Remember The Clown I Hired For The Party…?*She Asked The Pink And Yellow French Like Toad While Waiting For A Response From Her As she then Added.* I Need It Today...

ToadStrootle:*She Then Looked At Peach In Confusion As She Then Says the Following…* Pitre? Je ne me souviens pas que vous m'ayez dit d'embaucher un clown ... Vous n'en avez jamais demandé un, Votre Majesté.( Clown? I Don't Remember You Telling Me To Hire A Clown... You Never Asked For One, Your Majesty.)

Peach: !!! WHAT NO CLOWN!!!???**She Shouted At Her French Subject While Shaking Her!*

All: !!!*Everyone then Looks At The Mushroom Princess In Shock!*

ToadStrootle: AH !!! LA PRINCESSE PEACH M'A ARRÊTÉ STOP STOP ASSEZ!!!!(AH!!! PRINCESS PEACH PUT ME DOWN STOP STOP ENOUGH!!!!)

Peach: !!! *She Then Blushed In Embarrassment As She Then Says to the French Toad Apologetically By Saying…* Oh My Gosh! I’m So So So Sorry I-I Didn’t Know What Came Over Me ToadStrootle… I’m Once Again So Sorry About My Behavior We Don’t Need A Clown For The Party…*She Said to her French Subject As she then Gently Puts her Down…*

ToadStrootle: Êtes-vous sûr que Votre Majesté?(Are You Sure Your Majesty?)*She Responded With A Guilty Look on her Face!*

Peach: Sure I’m Sure!*She Said to The French Toad In Reassurance…* In Fact We-

POP!!!

Toadette: AHH!!! Someone HELP ME!!!*She Yells Out While Falling*

Peach: !!!! TOADETTE!!! Don’t Worry I’m Coming!*She then Began To Run As Fast As She Can As Then…* Gotcha!

Toadette: OOOF!!!*She then Wakes Up Slowly as she then Sees the Mushroom Princess As she then Says with A Smile!* Thank You For Catching Me Peach!

Peach: My Pleasure…*She Then Begins To Climb Up To See On What Happened… As She then Starts to Scold At The Koopa…* Rascal!!! Did You POP The Balloons For The Party!???

Rascal: Uhh… No!*He Fibbed…*

Peach: *She then Glares At Him Sternly…* Are You Sure?*She Says As she then Crossed Her Arms…*

Rascal: Ye- No…*He Said with Shame And guilt!* I’m Sorry Toadette…

Toadette: It’s Ok!*She Said to Him…* We Will Just Schedu-

Peach: NO!!! We Are Not Going to Schedule The Party… Besides It’s Mario’s Special Day It’s For Him!*She Says to her Subjects Stubbornly as she Then Says while reading the Last thing On the Checklist…* Alright… Let’s See Finally We Need Th- !!!

Toadbert: The What By Boogatiy?

Peach: Cake…

Rascal: What About Cake Princess?*He Asked Her In Confusion…*

Peach: The Cake! I Forgot About The Cake!*She Then Smacked Her Forehead…* No Matter… I’ll Work On it Right Away!*She Said With Determination In Her Voice…*

Professor E Gadd: Now Now, You Shouldn’t Overwork Yourself Princess…*He Said!*

Peach: *She then Says While Pretending to Listen to Egadd’s Advice… As She then Rolled Her Eyes As she then Said…* Of Course I’ll Try to Keep That In Mind!

Toadette: Are You Sure Your Ok Peach…? Is it because Of that Whole Moon Incident You had with Mario & Bowser?

Peach: !!! Uhh… No It’s Because It’s Hot In Here… Hehehe!*She says Nervously*

Rascal: *He Then Crosses His Arms* MmmHmm SURE Your Majesty…*He Said Sarcastically!*

Peach:*She then Runs to Her Room Getting Ready To Bake The Cake!*

All: *They All Then Sigh…*

Peach: Alright…*She then Claps!* Let’s Get Baking!!!

Peach:*She Then Starts to Bake the Cake…*

DING

Peach: Hey, The Cake’s Done…*She Said With Pride!**She then Takes Out The Burnt Cake As she then Starts to Smell in… As she then Says while Gagging!* Oh, That Is Awful Just Awful!!!*She Says In Disgust Before Throwing The Burnt Cake Away In The Trash Can!* Ok… That Is NOT An Award-Winning Cake For The Red Plumber!*She Then Thinks to Herself Sarcastically To Herself…*(Getting A Little Arrogant Huh Toadstool?) I’ll Just Make Another Cake…

After 13 Cake Attempts Later…

Peach:*She Then Scratches Her Yellow Blond Hair In Frustration As She Then Says Yells Out In Anger After She Turns Into Flames As then…* THAT’S IT!!!! I’M DONE!!!! I II JUST CAN’T THIS IS NOTHING I’M NOTHING I’m I’m... *She then starts getting Teary-Eyed as She Begins Bawling Her Eyes Out As she Said while Crying!!! Just Just Look At Me!!!? Just Upset Over Some Stupid Cake… *Sniff* Okay Peach Calm Down This Is For Your Man… The Red Man Of the Hour Mario!*Sigh* *She then Grabs A Photo Of Herself When She Was A Little Girl And Her Parents…*Sniff* Heh, Oh Mom Dad, I Just Wish You Came Here I Miss You So Much It’s Just I Made So So So Soooooooo Many Mistakes In The Past It’s Just I Want You Guys to Be Proud Of Me…*She Said Sadly*
???: Proud Of What Princess?

Peach: AHHHH!!!!!!!!*She Said As She Then Jumps While preparing to Begin To Fight…* Who…?*She Then Turns Around As she then Sees Toadswoth Who Was Behind Her!*She then Says with A Sigh Of Relief By Saying…* Oh, Thank The Stars It’s Just You... I could have Hurt You Toadsworth Anyhow… Did You Needed Anything?*She Asked Him…*

Toadsworth: My Apologies Princess… And No No I don’t Need Anything. Were You Looking At the Photograph Of your Mother And Father Again?*He Said As he then Rose An Eyebrow!*

Peach: !!! What!? PShh Of Course Not!*She Said As She Then Threw The Photograph In The trash…* I Was Just Baking A Cake for Mario’s Party Hehe!*She Says Nervously…*

Toadsworth: Oh, Of Course Well… Keep Up The Good Work!*He Then Thought to Himself With Pity And Guilt On his Face!*(Oh The Poor Dear…)*He Then Leaves her All By Herself From Her Room…*

Peach:*She Then takes A Deep Breath In And Out!* Time To Get Mario’s BDay Gift…*She Then Quickly Starts to Run To her Dresser As She Then Opens One Of The Drawers…* AHHAH! Found It!*She Says Joyfully As She then Grabbed A Blue Sparkly Heart-Shaped From Her Drawer and Then Leaves Her Room…**As We Then Cut To Mario And Luigi’s Bedroom… As Peach Then Leaves The Blue Heart-Locket On Mario’s Desk as she then leaves And Goes Back Outside!*

End Of Flashback…

Peach: For Shrooms Sake! I Always Wonder Why I Overwork Myself…*She Then Shrugs It Off As She Then Says with A Yawn!* Oh *Yawn* Well… Might Aswell Go And Sleep On This Ham…*She Was Then Hit By An Acorn!* OW! Hey, What’s The OW Big Idea!?*She Said In Annoyance…*

Squeezy:*A Purple Scottish Squirrel Then Popped Out Of Her Tree As she then Scolds The Mushroom Princess As she then Says…* Back Off Pink Dragon Your Not Gonna Destroy My Home And My Family That Easily Lassie!*She Said As she then Crosses Her Arms!*

Peach: Pink Dragon!??? First, Human And Second… I’m Just Trying To Find A Place To Sl- AHH!!!*She Was then Cut Off As she was then Pelted By Acorns As Tons Of Squirrels Came Swooping In At The Same Tree… Pelting Her With A Lot Of Acorns!*

Squeezy: BeGone Dragon!*She Said In Anger! As She Went Back to Her Tree and Went Inside And Closes The Door In Anger As Then…* SLAM!!!

Peach: FINE!!!*She Said In A Huff As Then She Looked Up At Klepto’s Tree As Then She Begins to Climb Up…*

1 Hour Of Climbing Later…

Peach:*Shen Then Goes Into Klepto’s Nest…* UGH! There’s Not Enough Room How Am I Gonn-*She Then Sees Klepto Sleeping Peacefully…**The Young Mushroom Princess Then Smirked Evilly As she then Rubbed Her Hands As She then Winks At The Audience As then…* SMACK!!!!*She Then Lays On her Back As Peach Then Smacks Her Lips As she then Yawns Quietly To Herself While Snoring Peacefully with A Smile On Her Face…**As Then…*

Klepto:*Who Was Now Furious That Peach Threw Him Out Of His Own Home Had A Plan As He Then Grabbed The Sleeping Ditzy Oblivious Princess To A Lake…*

As We Then Cut To A Lake Where Bertha Is Swimming…

Bertha:*Her Stomach Then Begins To Growl Loudly!* GRRRRRRRROWWWLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!*She Then Sees Klepto With Peach In His Beak As She then Licked Her Lips to Prepare For Her Dinner!*

Klepto:*He Then Pecks Peach as Then Crossed Skull Bones Appears Right Above her Head As Then He Dropped The Mushroom Princess… As He then Flies Back Home!*

Peach: YAWNS!!! What A Great Nap I Feel Refreshed And New A A A…*She Then Looks Down!!!* !!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Bertha: *She Then Opens Her Mouth…*

Peach: !!! Ok, Maybe Kicking Out Klepto From His Nest wasn’t Such A Good I I I IDEAAAAAAA!!!!!!*She Said As she then Continued to Fall!*

Bertha: *She Then Starts To Blow Up Peach’s Dress Revealing Peach Blouse…*

Peach: AH!!! Bertha!!!*She Said with A Blush Of Red On Her Face…*

Bertha: *She Opens Her Mouth Again…*

Peach: *She then Tries to Keep From Falling…*

Bertha Keeps Repeating The Same Process Until…

GRRRRRRRRRRRRROWLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bertha:*As She Then Licks Her Lips As She then Opens Her Mouth Again Until…* GULP!!! Mmmm!!!

Peach: GAH Disgusting!!!*She Then Starts Attacking Bertha From The Inside…*

SMACK

BANG
PUNCH
POW
THWACK!!!

Bertha: PaTooie!*She Said As She Then Spits Out The Mushroom Princess…*

Peach: BOING BOING BOING BANG!!!!*She Was Then Led To A Tree As She Kept Falling From It!* OW AH Yikes Ooof… Owie! Grandma! Bang!!!*She Then Comes Out From The Tree She Fell From The Tree!*She Then Starts To Shiver Due to How Cold It was Outside This Evening… But She didn’t Care as she then fell Asleep, As she was too Tired to Go back at her Castle Anyway…*

The Next Day…

*The Sun Slowly Gets To Rise Up… As Then A Portal Came In As Then The Two Hylians Came Out as the Portal Then Starts To Disappear…*

Zelda: And We’re Here!*She As she Smiled!*

Link: It’s Nice That Peach For Mario’s Birthday Party Eh Zelda?

Zelda: Yeah!*She Then Breaths In And Out…* It’s To be Back Visiting In The Mushroom Kingdom A… Again???*She Then Sees A Pink Dress With A Crown…* !!! Peach!???

Both: *Both Zelda And Link Then Sees Peach Laying on The Grass… As they Both then Run To Her!*

Link: Poor Peach She Looks So Banged Up!*He Reminded…*

Zelda: Quick! Let’s Get Her back to Her Castle ASAP!*She Ordered!*

Link:*The Hero Of Time Nodded As he did So with him Carrying one part of her Arm…*

Zelda:*She Carried The Other Part of Her Arm As The Duo Then Both Lifts Up The Sleeping Mushroom Princess Back At Her Castle.*
Peach: YAWWNNNNN!!!!*She Yawns Quite Loudly As she Slowly Gets Backs Up And Quickly Changes Her Now Ripped Pink Dress For A Different One…*

Peach:*Who Is Now Back Outside Taking A Walk…* Note To Self: Don’t Overwork Yourself For Someone’s Birthday Party…*She Then Sees Link Who Is Also Walking…* Hey, Link!*She Says As she then trips From A Rock As Just Then…* SMOOOCH!!!*She Kisses Him!*

Link: !!! PEA-*He was Muffling as he Was Trying To Get Up…*

Mario: !!! *Who was Watching On what was Happening… Who was Now Teary Eyed!* I-A Can’t Believe You…*He Said as he then Ran Off Crying…*

Zelda: !!! *Who Was doing The Same Thing That Mario Was Doing… As she then Whispered The Following…* Damn You Link!*She also ran off Crying!*

Peach: !!! *She Then Quickly Get’s Up And Says Apologetically!* Oh My Gosh, I’m So Sorry I Did That To You Link It was an Accident I Swear… It’s Just I just wanted to Greet You And Zelda But I Didn’t See Where I Was Going An-

Link: It’s *Huff* *Huff* Alright Princess… It was An Accident Nice to See You Again… Hehe.

Peach: Y-You Too*She said While Blushing red In Embarrassment After the Accident…* Anyway, I Should Go see how Mario’s Doing Since You Know Hehehe…*She says while rubbing The Back Of Her Head!*

Link: Same With Zelda! A-Anyway See you Later Princess…*He Said as he Then Ran Off To Go And Find Zelda!*

Peach: Bye Link!*She waved At Him While Running to Find Mario!*

10 Minutes Later…

Mario: *Who was standing On The Grass By Himself after he Heard A Familiar Voice calling to Him!*

Peach: Hey Mario! I Finally Found You You Silly Plumber… Hehehe!*She Said With A Giggle!* What Do You Think Of Your Birthday Gift That I Gave You…?

Mario: It’s Ok…*He Said Coldly To Her While His Head was Still Down After What He Just Witnessed…*

Peach: Well That’s… Good I Guess…? Is Something The Matter?*She Asked**She Says As She Then Tilted Her Head In Confusion…*
Mario: you a cheated on me…*He said now Teary Eyed!*

Peach: I What?*She Asked Him Once More but couldn’t hear what he said!*

Mario:*Now Angry As he then shouts while Crying!* YOU A CHEATED WITH ME PEACH!!! WITH LINK, THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME???! AFTER I HELPED YOU OUT FOR 30 YEARS!!!*He Says Angrily At Her as he then Crosses his arms…*

Peach: *Gulps* Mario Please… I Can Explain…*She said defensively!* It was An Accident I didn’t Mean to I Swear You don’t Under-

Mario:*He Then Snaps by Saying…* OH, I A DO UNDERSTAND YOU DON’T HAVE TO TELL ME YOU WERE JUST DOING IT BEHIND MY BACK SO I WOULDN’T NOTICE… *Sniff* I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DO THIS TO ME AFTER EVERYTHING I DID FOR YOU… YA KNOW, ALMOST LEAVING ME TO BOWSER ON THE MOON IS ONE THING BUT TH- THIS!???? AGH!!!!*He Said As He Threw his Cap Down In Frustration…* YOU KNOW WHAT I’M DONE!!!!! I’M MOVING TO NEW DONK THAT A WAY SO I WOULDN’T FEEL SO… *Sniff* BETRAYED!*He then Adds By Saying…* WE ARE THREW!*He Said to Her As He Then Smashes The Blue Locket in anger as Then…* SMASH!!!! I HOPE YOU AND A LINK HAVE A HAPPY LIFE TOGETHER!!!*He Then Ran Back Home Crying… Now Heartbroken… Leaves The Mushroom Princess All By Herself…*

Peach: *She then Starts to Get teary Eyed as well as she then holds the Smashed Up Locket as then she Starts to Cry While Saying….* What Have I Done!? MARRIO!!!!*She Called Out As Her Voice Then Echoes… As she Then Notices A Bar With A Flower in the Middle Of it As she then Sadly walks to the Bar to Drown Her Sorrows Away In Guilt, Regret And Shame!*

To Be Continued?
 

hubworld23

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That’s a pretty simple reason it’s because I wanted to show the feeling that Mario is yelling a peach since he’s really angry at her so it makes sense to make the letters capitalized if you catch my drift... what do you like about the story so far?:)
 

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That’s a pretty simple reason it’s because I wanted to show the feeling that Mario is yelling a peach since he’s really angry at her so it makes sense to make the letters capitalized if you catch my drift... what do you like about the story so far?:)

I was talking about the Capitals on the Beginning of Many Words. A completely capitalised text to represent shouting or yelling is not wrong though, but be careful to use it sparingly, for it will lose its effect when used too much, and may look unpleasing to the reader.
 

hubworld23

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I was talking about the Capitals on the Beginning of Many Words. A completely capitalised text to represent shouting or yelling is not wrong though, but be careful to use it sparingly, for it will lose its effect when used too much, and may look unpleasing to the reader.
Thanks, For The Advice!:) But what do you think of The First Chapter Though?
 

Just a Wario Fan

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Thanks, For The Advice!:) But what do you think of The First Chapter Though?

It's quite good, but in future stories, you should be careful not to introduce too many characters in a short timespan, even if the reader is already likely to be familiar with them.
This allows the reader to better keep track of the story as it gradually unfolds itself.
 
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