*ACTIVATES EDGY WAH POWERS DOES OVERPOWERED CARP CRYES TEAR OF BLOOD* "U KILLED MY FAHTER" *KILLS YOU WITH THE EDGY POWER OF WAH AND FLIES INTO THE MOUNTAINS TO CRY IN A CAVE AND TURNS INTO MY DEVIENTERT OC* THANKS FOR READING THIS FANFIC SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON 2 BECOME A BRO SUBSCHRBIE
When you want a wonderful 'stache like mine, you need to have lots of testosteron, which you can only get by being as manly as me.
I suggest you quit eating pizza, and instead hit the gym to get your muscles in shape.
Once you've done that and you're finally not a weakling anymore, you will be able to work on the next important step: working on your manly manners.
Go buy a motorbike and hit the ton, then buy a car like mine, and go on a journey to hunt some treasure; the more, the better. You can't have enough gold, and every ounce will make you greedier than you already were, thus making your insatiable hunger for the precious metal even fiercer.
Why is this so important, you ask? Well, simple: treasure hunting is the ultimate macho profession, and as such, will help you on your long and arduous way of gaining more upper lip hair.
And oh, don't forget to eat tons of garlic. Like with gold, you just can't have enough of the stuff. I recommend at least 2 kg a day. If you think that's a lot, try preparing garlic smoothies, or make garlic butter of them. You can even eat them raw and pretend it's an apple.
Well, that's enough advice for now. I hope to see back soon, and may your magnificent moustache grow quick!
Forget what I said about the pizza thing. Don't abstain from such heavenly food only because you wanna grow some muscle.
Just cut down on it a bit, alright?