The Woolly Palace Stories

[SpiritNightz99]

I am making a series called The Woolly Palace Stories, which is about my OC Scooter and his encounters with guests on his café /pub. Often, they are Warioware characters and such, but i am also gonna do my OC's and such. Anyways, i did the first story with Wario ( It is obvious why ). Please tell me how ya like it and what stuff i can improve with and such! Anyway's, here is the story:



Remember, it is my first story, so it is probably not as good. I always wanna try and add small refrences and such to other games and add character quirks. Anyways, hope ya like it.

 

[CM30]

Well, it seems quite good on a story level, the events seem to flow as expected and the characters act as I'd expect them to.

But it does need a bit of proof reading none the less. Lots of small spelling and grammar issues that hurt the flow a bit, like:

Wario suddley picked me up out of nowhere and told me:

And

one of them accideantly fell over and more!

 

[SpiritNightz99]

Well, it seems quite good on a story level, the events seem to flow as expected and the characters act as I'd expect them to.

But it does need a bit of proof reading none the less. Lots of small spelling and grammar issues that hurt the flow a bit, like:



And

Alright!
Thanks for the info! I sometimes i accidetally misspell words and when i am really tired, i just press post, and not think alot about it. besides, english isn't my first language. I will edit it later on!

 

[Just a Wario Fan]

A nice fanfic, I must say. Makes me want to grab my pen and start writing a fanfic too again. Haven't done that in ages.

Anyway, as CM30 said, try to fix the grammar errors, and improve a bit on the punctuation and quotes placement.
For example, instead of

“ Well…uuuh…remember the “ Warioman: The Movie “ I was-a talkin’ about? “

make it look like this:

"Well... uuuh... remember the 'Warioman: The Movie' I was-a talkin' about?"

Other than that, your writing skills are really decent.
As you demonstrated in this piece of fiction, the concept of Wario being disappointed by a movie about him cannot only be used for comedy, but for a somewhat more serious plot as well, while still keeping true to Wario's intrinsical wackyness.

 

[SpiritNightz99]

A nice fanfic, I must say. Makes me want to grab my pen and start writing a fanfic too again. Haven't done that in ages.

Anyway, as CM30 said, try to fix the grammar errors, and improve a bit on the punctuation and quotes placement.
For example, instead of



make it look like this:

"Well... uuuh... remember the 'Warioman: The Movie' I was-a talkin' about?"

Other than that, your writing skills are really decent.
As you demonstrated in this piece of fiction, the concept of Wario being disappointed by a movie about him cannot only be used for comedy, but for a somewhat more serious plot as well, while still keeping true to Wario's intrinsical wackyness.

Thanks alot! I really need criticsism to improve. Once again, english ain't my first language, but i will do my best to improve.

 

[GreenToxic]

I must say, this is really well done considering the fact that it is your second language! I hope I can improve my Spanish enough to be as good as this. How long have you studied English?

 

[SpiritNightz99]

I must say, this is really well done considering the fact that it is your second language! I hope I can improve my Spanish enough to be as good as this. How long have you studied English?

Well, since i was a little kid. In sweden, it is really common that we learn children english at a very early age, so they can have a better experience later on. It also helps that most movies we watch are in english and we rarely dub them ( and if we do, it is always really bad ), so we sub them instead. Also, i could few english words when i was just around 5-6, since i could words like ” stop ” and ” pepper ” and i could count to ten in english. It probably helped that i watched alot of Animaniacs and Simpsons with my dad when i was younger.

Also, whenever i tried talking outloud in english at school, the teacher’s where often impressed, said that i had kinda of a british accent when i talk english. They also said that i seem rather fluent in english, since many of the classmates had alot of problems with it. Then again, i always loved learning languages.

 

[GreenToxic]

Well, since i was a little kid. In sweden, it is really common that we learn children english at a very early age, so they can have a better experience later on.

Oh yeah, I've heard about stuff like that in Europe.

Then again, i always loved learning languages.

That explains a lot, when I was little my parents tried to get me to learn Spanish but I wasn't interested. Now I wish I was for the reason above! But hey, it's never too late to learn. How is Spanish going for you in college (also sorry if this is off-topic)?

 

[SpiritNightz99]

Oh yeah, I've heard about stuff like that in Europe.

That explains a lot, when I was little my parents tried to get me to learn Spanish but I wasn't interested. Now I wish I was for the reason above! But hey, it's never too late to learn. How is Spanish going for you in college (also sorry if this is off-topic)?

( It’s alright! ) Well, since my college is currently closed, since of the COVID-19, and my spanish teacher actully been sick ever since the beginning of this year of college. So, i haven’t had a chance to study it, which is a shame, since she was really sweet and encouraging.

 

[Just a Wario Fan]

Thanks alot! I really need criticsism to improve. Once again, english ain't my first language, but i will do my best to improve.

It's not my first language either, but thanks to the Internet (And specifically this very Forum), I have become much better at it in the past five years.
In fact, I have probably learnt more English online than in English class at school.

 

[SpiritNightz99]

It's not my first language either, but thanks to the Internet (And specifically this very Forum), I have become much better at it in the past five years.
In fact, I have probably learnt more English online than in English class at school.

Same here honeslty. While i wasn’t really here when i was younger, i mostly watched english movies and such with and without subs. Thanks to the internet, i started learning more and more english, since i spended time watching english episodes of my fav cartoons.

 

[GreenToxic]

It's not my first language either

I would've never guessed! What is it? Everyone here is so smart!

 

[Just a Wario Fan]

I would've never guessed! What is it? Everyone here is so smart!

My native languages are Dutch (just like 607) and Limburgish (A Dutch / German border dialect with language status.) I hardly use them on the Internet though.

 

[SpiritNightz99]

Also, i am planning to do Jimmy T. or Mona next.

I am thinking that Jimmy T. Story is either about his hair or about the history of Club Sugar and Mona is about her family issues, jobs and why she loves Wario so much. I am also gonna add few refrences from the other games and such.

 

[Just a Wario Fan]

Would love to read about the history of Club Sugar, or a story about Mona's life. Especially the latter.

 

[SpiritNightz99]

OHYEAHIFORGOTABOUTTHIS-

I had a few old concept art i did of Scooter’s bar few months ago, along with his rules and such-

( me and my friend made a headcanon that when Scooter runs out of room for his rules, he just uses sticky notes )

Again, sorry nothing much have happend lately. I have been in other fandoms and i have also been suffering from depression, so i kinda lost interest. But i do wanna come back to this someday.

 

[Just a Wario Fan]

OHYEAHIFORGOTABOUTTHIS-

I had a few old concept art i did of Scooter’s bar few months ago, along with his rules and such-

View attachment 12642

View attachment 12643
( me and my friend made a headcanon that when Scooter runs out of room for his rules, he just uses sticky notes )

View attachment 12644

Again, sorry nothing much have happend lately. I have been in other fandoms and i have also been suffering from depression, so i kinda lost interest. But i do wanna come back to this someday.

Wait, what? There are "no farting" and "no 'dank' memes" rules? Well, I guess Wario and I better stay home then. There should be some additional rules though. How about:

• No Fortnite
• No Fall Guys
• No dabbing
• No TikTok
• No NSFW videos
• No earrape memes
• No PewDiePie videos
• No Logan Paul videos
• No SSB ballot videos/memes
• No DeviantArt

Enforcing these rules will result in an approximately 89.8% decrease in angry, outraged customers, according to my highly accurate and reliable calculations.

 

[SpiritNightz99]

Wait, what? There are "no farting" and "no 'dank' memes" rules? Well, I guess Wario and I better stay home then. There should be some additional rules though. How about:

• No Fortnite
• No Fall Guys
• No dabbing
• No TikTok
• No NSFW videos
• No earrape memes
• No PewDiePie videos
• No Logan Paul videos
• No SSB ballot videos/memes
• No DeviantArt

Enforcing these rules will result in an approximately 89.8% decrease in angry, outraged customers, according to my highly accurate and reliable calculations.

Lol, i can imagine him having those rules aswell, since ya know...he is a grumpy grump-
But even with those rules, Wario just ignores them and still comes in to his Pub/Cafe.

But, even then, here is those rules and such he would insert in and not insert in:

Those he would TOTALLY insert:
- No dabbing ( well, it already has a rule about dabbing, so let's scratch that ).
- No Fortnite ( If ya mean fortnite dancing and such? Then yeah, i can imagine him being against that. Plus, me and my friend joked once that he will stop all fortnite dances in the world- )
- No Tiktok ( comming from someone who actully hates that app, yeaaah...i can imagine him adding that rule, due to how much crap it is in that app )
- No NSWF videos ( He cares 'bout the children, so of course it is off limit! Espacilly if someone decides to...you know...)
- No Earrape memes ( He hates loud noises, and he cherish his calm and quiet times. He also works part time at Club Sugar as a bartender, and even if he dosen't like the loud music and blinding lights, he does it since he is a really good friend to Jimmy T. )
- No Logan Paul videos ( Yeah, i can't stand them either, and neither would Scooter )

And those he may or may not add:
- No Pewdiepie videos ( it depends on his views on him. He may like him, or he may not. Honestly, i am neutral towards him...really neutral. Plus, he probably dosen't know who he is, since he dosen't look up alot of popular youtubers )
- No Deviantart ( Mostly on the fetish side of it, the layout and the toxic community. But other side, meh. It is kinda boring in his opinion )

And those he won't add:
- No SSB ballot videos/memes ( he actully finds them kinda funny. Probably because he enjoys playing it with Frankie )
- No Fall Guys ( He would actully like that game. Plus, me and my friend headcanon that Scooter is WAY too aware of his surroundings and knows alot about alternate universes and such. So, we joked that alot of characters from video games and such would at times visit Scooter's bar, and since how many times it have happend, he is just used to it now. Plus, i can imagine him getting a visit from Fall Guys aswell...they would probably think his bar is a minigame map or something like that- )

And welp, that's it. He would still piss off alot of people, but in his words: " professionals have standards ".