Wario Teaches Typing - A Wario Text Adventure

Wario and Dedede make a plan
W: Alright, here's the plan
I become Genius Wario, you hit that seesaw over there, I look at the weak spot, tell you what it is, I freeze the fans as Polar Wario, and then we both attack.
D: Sounds good to me, let's do this.
Wario goes up and freezes the fan.
W: ANTENNA!
 
D3 inhales! His face turns read as he begins to shake. As D3 looks like he's about to explode he puts on his primal mask and takes out his hammer. Releasing a puff of air so strong it forms a star D3 rockets at Count Canoli using his hammer as a ballast.

D3 starts spinning to build momentum.
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(Sorry if this is ooc for anyone, I haven't played WMoD. also ignore the character count im sorry T_T )

Suddenly, he arrives.
Sire, what are you doing? We've have guests at the castle!
Ignore him, he's just a dementia patient I volunteer with so I don't have to pay my taxes.
Why is he here?
Wario scratches his butt confused
They wander.
Come ON, sire
Literally DIE Escargoon, I'M not going until the little mustache guy goes!

Fine. I guess I MUST aid in your pety pursuit.
I'm sorry it has to be this way, but a kingdom needs its king.

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S: Sorry, we got blown away, what'd we miss?
D: We found my castle somehow, I remember I got sucked into the tv, how'd you get in here Escargoon!
E: I'm not quite sure, sire, but Dreamland needs us, we should go back
?: I guess this means new partner.

Escargoon, Dedede's right hand man, er, snail, joined your party

W: Well, I think the episode's over, we should be leaving the tv now, can't wait to decorate with the ring, Nic Cage pillow, and Danny DeVito cardboard cutout.
 
IRL a window creaks as Kat n Ana sneaks into Wario's House
Ana: Are you sure this is ok?
Kat: Wario said he would play with us today didn't he!?
Ana: ... yeah *crawls in too*
Suddenly they notice Wario who is catatonic w his helmet on
Kat Ana *piling on Wario*: YAY WARIO
Wario is frozen
Ana: Is he ok?
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Wario is staring into space. Drool slowly carves a path down his chin, then carelessly dribble(DRIBBLE MENTIONED! AROOOOOOOOOO:dribble::dribble2::WWGITdribble:)s away. It doesn't matter here. Not where they are. Kat and Ana came to visit Wario, but little did they know he was somewhere far, far away.
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W: Well, that was interes- oh, hi, sorry about that.
K: What happened?
W: It's-a kind of a long story,
A: It's okay, you can tell us.

Wario then told them the plot of Wario: Master of Disguise, but due to character limit, this narration is all you see of that *
 
W *snapped back*: OH! DEDEDE, SONIC, ...uh some guy I couldn't see very well...., and some slug goon.... ARE STILL STUCK!
*Ana looks scared, Kat angry*
K: WARIO! You said you'd pay us back for years of work with icecream installments! Its OUR day!
*Wario picking and flicking*: Oh yeah... *stares at tv*
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"You said some people are stuck? Are they in danger?" Ana asks. Wario, seeing an opportunity to save his beloved icecream savings, is quick to answer.
"Yeah...Yeah, Lots of danger. If only there were a solution for this. Like child labor." He says persuasively.
"Kat we have to do something!"
"💀" Kat responds.
 
W: I'm kidding, but I got to call them. Hey, Dedede, are you still in the show?
D: No, the episode is over.
W: Phew, good, you ask Sonic.
D: Ok. Hey Sonic, are you in the show right now?
S: No, and the mystery guy is here with me, bye.
?: Bye

When animated, end episode here

Meanwhile with Wario...
 
Kat: Wario wtf, you're not making any sense did you eat your garlic today?
Wario drooling: Garlic flavored icecream mmmm
Ana: Oh no Kat! I think that Telmet melted his brain.
K: Don't be silly! *takes telmet off and wario's face goes blank*
A: We still get icecream right?
wario nods, they pile in his car
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btw when I speak in bold, it's ooc, and in italics, it's description
meanwhile

E: Glad it's not going to happen again, sire.
D: It probably will.
E: What do you mean? That's preposterous
D: Plo- (think of the 4th wall), vibes.
E: Ok, goodnight sire.
D: Goodnight.

With Wario...

W: Hey, this is pretty good.
 
Kat and Ana are also enjoying their icecreams.
Its then that wario can't help but notice a familiar face up on the stage dancing away between two of the other gelato goe patrons.
They are singing the Goofy Goober theme song with a disco twist. BUT WHATS THIS THE FAMILIAR FACE IS HOLDING?
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"JIMMY I TRUSTED YOU!" Wario cries out.
"Hey, sorry Wario, yo-" Jimmy begins to respond.
"Is it even garlic flavored?!"
"Oh uh... Wario you know I wouldn't eat garlic flavored ice cream..."
"Of COURSE you wouldn't. I guess I'm the fool then huh?"
"C'mon Wario, it was half off!"
"YOU DIDN'T EVEN PAY FULL PRICE FOR ME?! YOU CHEAP PIG!"
"You're one to talk..." Kat mutters.
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What was that Kat??? Wario sputtered as he turned around accidentally slapping J T.'s popsicle into his wig, knocking it off
Wario looks at J.T
J. T's eyes are glowing
W: WAH JIMMY WE'LL GET YOU A NEW WIG! BE COOL
J: IMPOSSIBLE, THAT WAS HAND WOVEN BY MY GREAT GRANNY TAMMY!!! JIMMY JAMBOREE! ATTTAAACK!
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W: WAAAAAAH!!! HELP!
Meanwhile because idk what to say here for them...
S: Eh, I'm bored, I guess I'll play some Kirby Does His Taxes 2
D: Hey, want to play some Sm- OOH, KIRBEH DOES HIS TAXES 2, WITH NEW DEDEDE MODE?!
S: Yeah, forget to pay yours?
D: No, I just need practice right now.
Meanwhile at Goofy Goober's while D3 and Sonic play KDHT2
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J; Only one way for us to settle this boss
W: Treasure hunting?
J; No a dance off!
W *perking up*: Fine! You'll have to take on my sustitue though.. I ate too much garlic icecream...
J: The Jimmy Jamboree can take anyone
W: OH REALLY!? *breaks out phone* Yeah Mirror B., remember that favor you owe me?
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NO A DANCE OFF
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Dedede pauses KDHT2.
"I just can't shake the feeling that something ain't right..." He says
"Oh? Are you hungry too?" Sonic asks, gesturing towards his chilidog discount collection.
"No no, I just feel like somethings going wrong right now. Oh well, what do I know?"
Dedede resumes KDHT2.
 
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