Wario Teaches Typing - A Wario Text Adventure

At Goofy Goobers Wario is getting the smack down as the Jimmy Jambouree whoops on wario in M+L SSS fashion
Jimmies launch other jimmies at wario from every direction in intricate dance attack patterns while other jimmies spin hold onto chains of Jimmies who slap and kick wario figure skater style
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W: Can we go now?
K: Alright, after all of that, you should get some rest.

back at Wario's

A: Goodnight Wario.
W: Goodnight.

he goes to sleep, and K&A go home.

at Sonic's

D: Hey, hand me anotha bag o dem chips.

S: Here you go, sour cream and onion.

D: Alright,
he opens it
dig in!
 
Wario tosses and turns. His descent into slumber is erratic. One second he's dreaming, the next he's back in his room. Channels switch back and forth, he doesn't know what he's seeing. But then, all of a sudden, the turbulence comes to a stop and someone stands before him.
"Wario, do you remember what you're doing?" They ask, a shadow draped across their face obscuring their identity.
 
Squinting his eyes Wario doesn't know how to react. Surely these questionable characters will reveal themselves shortly if Wario is just patient.
Wario with a lightbulb over head: I got it, I must be in some kind of coma dream from getting knocked out by Jimmy's jackoffs..
The shadowy figures: No...
 
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after he regains consciousness
W: Where am I?
and then he hears a familiar voice, 3 in fact
?: I was just about to say the same.
W: Wait, Shadow?
S: Wario?
WL: Why are we here?
K: Wait a sec, guys, this is Shangri-La.
W: Like from Black Ops?
K: Yeah, I think we need to complete the easter egg to leave
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suddenly an enemy combatant comes from over the hill and tries to flank Waluigi
WL: WAH WARIO HELP
W busting out his akimbo, slow motions 1080 dolphin dive: NOT ONE MY WAAAAHTCH
enemy is headshotted each spin and dies
S: Knuckles, you no life this game harder than anyone I know I play fortnite take us to the easter egg
K (taking S's shades): Alright, follow me scrubs
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@2Z.LIVE.FROM.STUDI03! idk why but that last post slayed me
ALSO I KNOW WE TALKED ABOUT IT A WHILE AGO BUT I'M GOING TO INCREASE THE CAP TO MAX 420 CHARACTERS PER POST
 
thanks bro, also shangri la is a zombies map
K: Heads up, round 5, expect napalms and shriekers now, and leave that max ammo
monkey picks it up
W: NOW!
it becomes a perk a cola bottle
W: What'd you guys get? I got PhD.
S: Deadshot
K: Jug
WL: Speed Cola
S: Really? I got trash, and you guys got good stuff?
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No explosive/fall damage, explosive dive
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No hip spray, auto aim to head
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more HP
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fast reloads
 
W: Ready guys? Just got the baby gun from the box.
WL: Shrink 'em
SH: Then punt 'em
K: HEY GUYS I GOT THE LAST ROCK

W: This is a great song
WL: And the piano ending is just amazing
SH: Let's activate the first radio
S: Hey, whe- nevermind, this is... SHANGRI LA?!
D: What? Like COD Zombies?
S: Yeah, I'm afraid so, and it seems we don't have any weapons
D: that's not good...
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W: THEY'RE here too?!
 
W: Wait, why am I scared? IMA WARIO! I'MA NUMBER ONE!
wario jumps into a horde of zombies beating up, pile driving, and throwing them around.
ALL - W: WARIO NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Wario laughs and lets a group of zombies gang up on him dragging him down and bite him
ALL: WARIO NOOOO
Wario turns into a Zombie, all of the zombies touching wario just instanly get wrecked and fall through the ground back to satan
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(sunlight restores wario and he is in the shade)
 
WL: down the water slide
SH: I'll pull the switch
K: What now?
W: Now we knock down the stone, Shadow, you have the ray gun, right? Knock it down.
He does that, and Wario shrinks it with the baby gun, they push it down the waterslide, and onto the geyser
SH: We did it, now's the gas step
WL: Thanks for the heads up.
 
K: Well, that works too, forgot where the gas pipe wheel is?
W: Yeah
WL: Here comes a napalm, lead it through here
W: I got this
He leads the napalm through the gas, lighting it on fire
WL: Now spikemores.
Waluigi leads some zombies through the spikemores to patch up the holes
SH: What now?
K: Wall, then symbols again
SH: Got the wall, let's knife some symbols
later
W: don't forget the radio
WL: 16 1 3 4, almost there.
 
S: Hey guys, isn't there dynamite to get us out?
SH: Yeah, but up next we need to do the gong step.
a little later
K: Yes!
SH: Wario, pack the baby gun now
W: Yeah
He shoots the stone, and Shadow grabs the dynamite
SH: Here Sonic, take this
S: Thanks, we're outta here Dedede
WL: Let's grab the stone and finish this
Knuckles grabs the stone
SH: finally, DOLPHIN DIVE!
Wario wakes up
W: That was a weird dream, is the show on?
 
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W: Gonna have some breakfast, and get the telmet on.
he has some garlic bread
Oh, this is good. alright, telmet time
Meanwhile, Sonic
S: Hey, Tails, I had a weird dream last night where I was in Shangri La
T: Weird, like COD?
S: Yeah, uh oh.
T: What?
Sonic gets sucked into the tv
T: SONIC
W: Hey
Also bc I made all text in my post style italic I'm now using underlines for narration
 
Sonic is running alongside a beach where the water is soda and sentient food people wave and smile all around

Suddenly Sonic stops wide eyed and sees Wario eating the denizens of this world

S: WARIO WAHT THE HECK MAN?

W(stimunching): its just tv and its good, could use some garlic though.

S: No Wario why do I keep getting sucked into this TV world we need to get to the bottom of this

W: Wait if you're here then that means.

a shadow appears over wario and sonic and a southern drawl screaming can be heard falling towards them
-----------------------------------------
lets bump it to hundred words max, characters is making less sense to me
TLDR: 100 WORD MAX NOW
 
?: Watch where you're falling Dedede.
D: Hey, be careful who you're talking to.
W: Glad to be back after that dream.
S: Yeah, about that...
W: What?
D: That was as real as it gets, and you should probably ask them if they're ok.
W: Yeah, when we're done in here.
S: There's another green chest.

You can now become Elephant Wario, spray water with your trunk or utilize your weight to press switches and fall through platforms.


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Wario holds his elephant feet and his eyes get a little small.
Wario: I feel like I've been forcefed a ton of cake..
Sonic: Oh no..... Wario, you're an elephant.
W: What? This isn't so bad really
DeDeDe: I say, I say that's not too bad a look on you tubby
Wario shoots water at D3 knocking him over
W: WHO YOU CALLING TUBBY TRIPLE D CUPS???
Wario and D3 start bumping shoulders and growling but sonic breaks up.
S: You guys this is bad, I think we're in Super Mario Bros. Wonder!!!!
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