Wario Teaches Typing - A Wario Text Adventure

I'll do the L4D1 side with my mods, adding different enemies depending on the map/characters
W: NIGHTMARE!
Nightmare from FNAF 4 throws a big Mario head at Papyrus
s: hey, watch out bro!
He dodges
P: Nyeh heh heh, did you think that'd hit me, The Great Papyr-
He gets pounced by Withered Foxy
P: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Cosmo gets rode around by Doodlebob
C: Help!
W: Amateurs
Wario and Sans kill Foxy and Doodlebob
s: follow us to mercy hospital.
W: Oh boy, this is No Mercy from Left 4 Dead, love this campaign.
s: oh, me too, i also love the payday heist at this place.
W: Oh yeah, forgot about that, but Ronald McDonald's there, let's Mccrown him.
Sans crowns Ronald with a shotgun
W: Hey guys, there are some weapons here.
He sees a Halo sword
W: Hello beautiful, let's kill some S.T.A.F.F. bots together.
He grabs the Halo sword
View attachment 16067
Did you even read mine and Dabbit's previous posts on the story? The characters met up together now and aren't separated and are currently now at the Goofy Goober's where Jimmy T and the Jimmy Jamboree are plotting to kill Wario, Kat, Ana, Stolas, Sonic, Tails, Sans, Papyrus, Cosmo and Dedede.
 
Did you even read mine and Dabbit's previous posts on the story? The characters met up together now and aren't separated and are currently now at the Goofy Goober's where Jimmy T and the Jimmy Jamboree are plotting to kill Wario, Kat, Ana, Stolas, Sonic, Tails, Sans, Papyrus, Cosmo and Dedede.
lmao no, my bad, scratch mine and think of it more like a multiplayer version of the fake peppino battle from pizza tower
 
At Goofy Goober's
J: Alright Jimmy Jamboree, here's the plan to kill Wario and any friends of his...
W (hushed): OH SHOOT! I forgot Jimmy wants to kill me after the incident.
T: What happened?
W: Well I knocked over his wig made by his grandmother Tammy, he got mad and beat me up.
St: You know, I remember doing something similar like that when I last came here.
Sa: Same.
They all realised that they knocked over Jimmy's wig and were all enemies of the Jimmy Jamboree.
All: Oh.
D3 pulls out his hammer
D (yells): WELL WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO JIMMY! WHY DON'T WE SETTLE THIS WITH SOME GOOD OL' RIVALRY!
Jimmy T and the Jimmy Jamboree turned to look at the gang with glowing red eyes
C: Dedede, what drugs are you-
J: JIMMY JAMBOREE, IT'S SHOWTIME!
Kat and Ana suddenly appeared
A: Don't worry, we're here to help!
K: Let's take this fool down.
After an intense fight like a multiplayer version of the fake peppino battle from pizza tower, Stolas petrified Jimmy and Sans obliterated the hippie with his gaster blaster
K: Everyone! We need to get out now before the police shows up!
St: I'll summon a portal with my grimoire.
W: Hurry up!
Everyone went into the portal, which lead them to India, where the gang met Bowser who was on holiday.
 
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At Goofy Goober's
J: Alright Jimmy Jamboree, here's the plan to kill Wario and any friends of his...
W (hushed): OH SHOOT! I forgot Jimmy wants to kill me after the incident.
T: What happened?
W: Well I knocked over his wig made by his grandmother Tammy, he got mad and beat me up.
St: You know, I remember doing something similar like that when I last came here.
Sa: Same.
They all realised that they knocked over Jimmy's wig and were all enemies of the Jimmy Jamboree.
All: Oh.
D3 pulls out his hammer
D (yells): WELL WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO JIMMY! WHY DON'T WE SETTLE THIS WITH SOME GOOD OL' RIVALRY!
Jimmy T and the Jimmy Jamboree turned to look at the gang with glowing red eyes
C: Dedede, what drugs are you-
J: JIMMY JAMBOREE, IT'S SHOWTIME!
Kat and Ana suddenly appeared
A: Don't worry, we're here to help!
K: Let's take this fool down.
After an intense fight like a multiplayer version of the fake peppino battle from pizza tower, Stolas petrified Jimmy and Sans obliterated him with his gaster blaster
K: Everyone! We need to get out now before the police shows up!
St: I'll summon a portal with my grimoire.
W: Hurry up!
Everyone went into the portal, which lead them to India, where the gang met Bowser who was on holiday.
2 things:
1. Credit to Baker Man for the fake peppino battle idea, came in clutch when I was writing this.
2. Stolas's grimoire is basically an ancient book that was handed to him when he was a boy by his father, and it allows Stolas to create portals to travel across different universes, so there's your context.

Also, anything marked as spoiler for my writing means that it's just commentary (or sometimes story context)
 
Cool, I had a bit of an idea for that where Peppino drops in, but let's roll with this. btw I differentiate between Sonic and Sans by having a capital S for Sonic and a lowercase s for Sans
W: Bowser?
B: Huh? What are you doing here?
S: Not sure honestly, we were just fighting a Jimmy Jamboree, and now we're here.
W: Better than what happened last time I fought a Jimmy Jamboree.
D: What happened again?
W: Shangri-La.
D: Right, forgot.
B: Want some curry? It's good.
W: No thanks, it goes right through me.
T: TMI.
S: Guys, remember, we need to end the episode before we get to pleasantries.
W: Yeah, the guys are probably worried about me.
 
s: ok, let's hurry.
The whole crew runs after Eclair
S: Got him, now we fight.
E (pointing at Tails, Cosmo, and Papyrus): I'm picking my battles, and I pick to battle them.
T: Us?
C: Why us?
P: You challenged the Great Papyrus to a battle? It's on! Nyeh heh heh!
IwillbattleTHEM.png

btw new cover for this part, i'll post it in my soundfont cover thread too
 

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E: Alright, let's begin
An Indian battle theme (pls compose it for us Baker Man) starts up as Cosmo, Tails and Papyrus charge across the street at Eclair. However, Cosmo immediately comes across a group of cows crossing the street and they start munching her up.
C: ARGH! SINCE WHEN WAS IT EVER LEGAL FOR COWS TO CROSS THE ROAD!?!?
The Great Papyrus makes a leap at Eclair and manages to land a hit on him and they both get sent into an empty road.
P: Nyeh heh heh! That's what you get for messing with I, the Great Papy-
Eclair floats away just as Papyrus turns around to see a bunch of rickshaws, trucks and cars fill up the road, not recognising Papyrus or each other.
P: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Why is the traffic here in India so hectic!?
Papyrus manages to barely dodge all of the vehicles but then gets hit by a lorry and ragdolls. Tails, panicked as he saw Eclair corner him, but whacks Eclair with his tails before flying away to the crew, who were tucking in to some tarka dal with extra garlic naan bread.
T: Uh, could use some help over here!
W: Go on, you can do it, we believe in you, whatever.
T: HELP ME FIGHT THIS YOU LAZY OAF!
W: Wah, okay. This garlic naan should help me increase my powers. Let's just take this clown down.
E: HEY! DON'T BREAK THE RULES! YOU ARE AWARE THAT THIS IS MY BATTLE RIGHT!?
S: We don't care. Now die.
Dedede uses his hammer to launch a spindahsing Sonic into Eclair, knocking the man back into a wall. Kat and Ana then use ninja stars to pin Eclair down whilst Bowser eats a super spicy curry to breathe fire and singe Eclair intensely. Sans and (a somehow still alive) Papyrus do the Spooky Scary Skeletons dance and blinds Eclair. Stolas then uses his telekinesis powers to launch Eclair high into the air.
W: Have a rotten day!
Wario then releases an atomic blast from the intense amounts of garlic nann he ate earlier, which sends Eclair flying into the sunset.
E: LOOKS LIKE THE GOLDEN WIND IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAIIIIIINN!
s: I think we're running out of spare 4th walls fast.
T: OK guys let's get out of here and find the Golden Gale before this portal madness gets worse. I feel like we're missing someone... OH CRAP, WE NEED TO SAVE COSMO FROM THOSE COWS!

Also yes, I know I went very overboard with this post but there were a lot of jokes I couldn't resist using for this fight so yeah, that's why. Also because I went on holiday to India for a family wedding + to see family and, at the time of writing this, I'm now on the flight back to England.
 
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E: Alright, let's begin
An Indian battle theme (pls compose it for us Baker Man) starts up as Cosmo, Tails and Papyrus charge across the street at Eclair. However, Cosmo immediately comes across a group of cows crossing the street and they start munching her up.
C: ARGH! SINCE WHEN WAS IT EVER LEGAL FOR COWS TO CROSS THE ROAD!?!?
The Great Papyrus makes a leap at Eclair and manages to land a hit on him and they both get sent into an empty road.
P: Nyeh heh heh! That's what you get for messing with I, the Great Papy-
Eclair floats away just as Papyrus turns around to see a bunch of rickshaws, trucks and cars fill up the road, not recognising Papyrus or each other.
P: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Why is the traffic here in India so hectic!?
Papyrus manages to barely dodge all of the vehicles but then gets hit by a lorry and ragdolls. Tails, panicked as he saw Eclair corner him, but whacks Eclair with his tails before flying away to the crew, who were tucking in to some tarka dal with extra garlic naan bread.
T: Uh, could use some help over here!
W: Go on, you can do it, we believe in you, whatever.
T: HELP ME FIGHT THIS YOU LAZY OAF!
W: Wah, okay. This garlic naan should help me increase my powers. Let's just take this clown down.
E: HEY! DON'T BREAK THE RULES! YOU ARE AWARE THAT THIS IS MY BATTLE RIGHT!?
S: We don't care. Now die.
Dedede uses his hammer to launch a spindahsing Sonic into Eclair, knocking the man back into a wall. Kat and Ana then use ninja stars to pin Eclair down whilst Bowser eats a super spicy curry to breathe fire and singe Eclair intensely. Sans and (a somehow still alive) Papyrus do the Spooky Scary Skeletons dance and blinds Eclair. Stolas then uses his telekinesis powers to launch Eclair high into the air.
W: Have a rotten day!
Wario then releases an atomic blast from the intense amounts of garlic nann he ate earlier, which sends Eclair flying into the sunset.
E: LOOKS LIKE THE GOLDEN WIND IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAIIIIIINN!
s: I think we're running out of spare 4th walls fast.
T: OK guys let's get out of here and find the Golden Gale before this portal madness gets worse. I feel like we're missing someone... OH CRAP, WE NEED TO SAVE COSMO FROM THOSE COWS!

Also yes, I know I went very overboard with this post but there were a lot of jokes I couldn't resist using for this fight so yeah, that's why. Also because I went on holiday to India for a family wedding + to see family and, at the time of writing this, I'm now on the flight back to England.
before my contribution to the story, I'll just say, I already added a battle theme, but I guess I'll use Great Tiger's theme from Punch Out Wii
 
Tails saves her from the cows
T: We'll need to get you patched up.
C: Thank you, Tails.
W: We beat him, we'll find him again in the next episode.
They all exit the TV, Sans and Papyrus with Sonic, Cosmo with Tails, Bowser with Wario, and Kirby with Dedede
W: Well, that was a weird one, I wonder what game I'll be trapped in tonight.
B: Huh?
W: First, Shangri-La from Black Ops 1 Zombies with Waluigi, Shadow, and Knuckles. Then, Garten of Banban with them.
Wario gets on Payday with the homies
W: Hey guys, sorry I took so long, but I noticed a pattern.
SH: What would that be?
W: 2 days ago, we got trapped in Shangri-La,
K: Yeah.
W: Last night, Garten of Banban,
WL: What tonight?
W: I don't know, but clearly something, hopefully not Payday, and if Payday, hopefully normal or hard difficulty.
 
Tails saves her from the cows
T: We'll need to get you patched up.
C: Thank you, Tails.
W: We beat him, we'll find him again in the next episode.
They all exit the TV, Sans and Papyrus with Sonic, Cosmo with Tails, Bowser with Wario, and Kirby with Dedede
W: Well, that was a weird one, I wonder what game I'll be trapped in tonight.
B: Huh?
W: First, Shangri-La from Black Ops 1 Zombies with Waluigi, Shadow, and Knuckles. Then, Garten of Banban with them.
Wario gets on Payday with the homies
W: Hey guys, sorry I took so long, but I noticed a pattern.
SH: What would that be?
W: 2 days ago, we got trapped in Shangri-La,
K: Yeah.
W: Last night, Garten of Banban,
WL: What tonight?
W: I don't know, but clearly something, hopefully not Payday, and if Payday, hopefully normal or hard difficulty.
Kirby flew away lol, check out Dabbit's previous post on the story
 
Kirby flew away lol, check out Dabbit's previous post on the story
I know, but he was in the episode too, and Bowser wasn't part of the party, he was just there, and Kirby, Sans, Papyrus, and Cosmo, weren't in there because they got sucked into the tv, but they got trapped in L4D, I'll need to make a part of the story where they explain what happened (except Kirby lol)
 
S/T/D: How did you end up in Left 4 Dead?
s: i'm not sure, really.
P: I was trying to get him to pick his sock up, then we just blacked out, when we woke up, we were there.
C: I sacrificed myself for the universe, which you remember, and when I left, I thought I was dead. But I woke up there with them.
K: Poyo!
D: (Oh right that's all he says)
C: Oh, you kept the seed I gave you?
T: Yeah, it's growing well.
P, in the other room: SAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS, WHAT'S A FANFICTION?
s: oh no.
S: DON'T CLICK IT!
Wario, Sonic, Tails, and Dedede call each other
W: Well, find anything out?
S: Yeah.
T: Yep.
D: Nope.
S: I don't feel so good, this is like what Papyrus said...
They black out and end up trapped in the door in Call of the Dead from Black Ops 1
D: Hey, where are we?
S: It's dark in here.
K: Hey guys, I second what that other guy said- wait, Sonic?
S: Knuckles?
SH: Hello, Sonic.
s: hey guys.
WL: What's going on?
P: Help!
Outside, surviving the hordes of zombies, are Wario, Tails, Cosmo, and Peppino
PE: What is this?
T: Oh no...
C: What's wrong, Tails?
W: WHY ARE WE TRAPPED IN ANOTHER ZOMBIES MAP?!
notagain.png

also I decided I'll put mental lines in parentheses.
 
W: Luckily, I still have my Python on me.
He pulls a 1911 out of where his Python was
W: Oh yeah, I forgot.
T: You said ANOTHER zombies map, right?
W: Yeah. Waluigi, Shadow, Knuckles and I were trapped in Shangri-La, remember?
T: Oh yeah.
W: Well, 8 collateral shots to the zombies' bodies and then knife for points to get the door to the boat.
On round 3...
PE: Well, we have the power on, what now?
W: Chances are, we need to do the easter egg, which would be easier solo, but if we're going co-op, then follow my lead. TO THE LIGHTHOUSE!
They go to the lighthouse, and Wario knifes the door
WL: Hey, who's out there?
W: Waluigi? Is that you?
WL: Yeah, Wario. Where are we?
W: Call Of The Dead.
WL: You know how to do the easter egg, right?
W: Yeah.
WL: The fuse.
W: Oh yeah.
He grabs the fuse and gets PhD Flopper.
W: Got it, and got Flopper.
WL: Explode the generators next.
S: HEY GUYS I HAVE A SPEAKER, I'LL TURN ON MUSIC FOR YOU.
T: Thanks.
C: Thank you, Sonic.
PE: Okay, let's-a do this.
They hit the box, Wario gets his Python back, Tails gets the China Lake, Cosmo gets the VR-11, and Peppino gets the Stakeout
W: Sweet.
T: A grenade launcher, this is important right now.
PE: A shotgun. Nice-a.
C: What is this thing?
W: That's the VR-11, we'll need it for a later step, also, you can shoot us with it, and the zombies will ignore us, and we'll have insta-kill too when it's Pack-A-Punched.
C: Pack-A-Punched?
W: Upgraded.
 
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T: Aaaaand 4!
W: Nice, now we go back and do the (gulp) radio step.
They return to the crew in the closet
PE: Hey, what now guys?
Shadow explains what to do
Tails writes it down

T: Got it.
They all go to 1 radio, activate them in order, and regroup at Pack-A-Punch
W: Packing my Python.
T: I'll upgrade my 1911.
C: I suppose I'll upgrade this VR-11 thing like Wario said.
PE: Packing my shotgun.
W: Now dials.
After struggling for so long, Tails looks at the guide, and yells what to do, then they do the dials and the foghorns.
C: Now I hit a zombie at the bottom of the lighthouse with this thing.
T (Using Mustang & Sally (The PaP'ed 1911)): THESE THINGS ARE GREAT!
PE: We did it, I have the device.
W: Okay, should we go for high rounds before we go?
T: No, let's just go.
Wario knifes the fuse box, and then they dolphin dive on each other to end it
W: Well, that's that taken care of.
S: Alright, I'm going to sleep now, see ya.
 
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In the morning, at Sonic's place
T: I wonder what chaos will happen this time.
D: I'm not sure, but I hope today is just a nice peaceful day, let's get out of the house, have a picnic or something.
S: You sound like Amy saying something like that.
s: i get where he's coming from though. after everything that happened yesterday, we need a break.
Wario walks in
W: Hello guys, it's your favorite fat guy in yellow.
C: Hello.
P: Hello, Wario.
W: What are you guy talking about?
D: Getting away from the TV today and just going to the park or something.
W: You know what? That actually sounds pretty nice, good idea, Dedede.
D: Thanks.
K: Poyo!
And so, they went to the park, and nothing eventful happened that day
I think that, even if filler, a day where they don't go on a crazy adventure and just go to the park could be a nice break from the story heavy parts
 
I didn't mean it in a bad way lol, please forgive me. Plus I think that a little chaos doesn't do that much harm...

100 messages already whoa!
Don't worry just have fun with it, those are just guiding principles to prevent spam, just have fun with it. just to stop us from writing a whole book by ourselves cause is to come up with funny and cool story together.

OH SNAP I GOTTA CATCH UP LOLOL
(I WROTE ONE BEFORE REALIZING HAHAHA)

I like where this story is going


*Wario picks his nose looking perplexed*
T: What's wrong? We were thinking about maybe going to the beach, a new seaside food stand opened up you'll love it.
W: I just.... can't help feeling a little gassy, like somethings not right... I'm all for a relaxing day, i mean its a me wario, but what if we just get sucked into the tube again?
D3: Yeah we were talking about that and what with how hard that confectionary named creep got his keester clobbered I'd say we're set for the day.
W: I still think we should get everyone together who we've met up with in that tv world and come up with a plan... there are so many of us now we might be able to rally an army.... besides whats so good about some crummy seaside foodstand anyway
T: They specialize in garlic
W*running for the door*: WAHAHAHAH HURRY UP SLOWPOKES LAST ONE IN RIDES MIDDLE! I'M DRIVING WWAHAHAHAHA! I'LL CALL THOSE CHUMPS ON THE WAY
*everyone drives in wario's car, wario insists it will save gas but then charges everyone $5 for gas and starts calling all of their dream comrades while barely paying attention to the road*
*Everyone screams as wario misses a 16 wheeler going around a mountain bend*
WARIO: NEXT STOP! THE BEACH!
 

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Don't worry just have fun with it, those are just guiding principles to prevent spam, just have fun with it. just to stop us from writing a whole book by ourselves cause is to come up with funny and cool story together.

OH SNAP I GOTTA CATCH UP LOLOL
(I WROTE ONE BEFORE REALIZING HAHAHA)

I like where this story is going


*Wario picks his nose looking perplexed*
T: What's wrong? We were thinking about maybe going to the beach, a new seaside food stand opened up you'll love it.
W: I just.... can't help feeling a little gassy, like somethings not right... I'm all for a relaxing day, i mean its a me wario, but what if we just get sucked into the tube again?
D3: Yeah we were talking about that and what with how hard that confectionary named creep got his keester clobbered I'd say we're set for the day.
W: I still think we should get everyone together who we've met up with in that tv world and come up with a plan... there are so many of us now we might be able to rally an army.... besides whats so good about some crummy seaside foodstand anyway
T: They specialize in garlic
W*running for the door*: WAHAHAHAH HURRY UP SLOWPOKES LAST ONE IN RIDES MIDDLE! I'M DRIVING WWAHAHAHAHA! I'LL CALL THOSE CHUMPS ON THE WAY
*everyone drives in wario's car, wario insists it will save gas but then charges everyone $5 for gas and starts calling all of their dream comrades while barely paying attention to the road*
*Everyone screams as wario misses a 16 wheeler going around a mountain bend*
WARIO: NEXT STOP! THE BEACH!
tbh I like where it's going too
 
While Wario is making the calls
T: You guys hear the sad news?
S: What?
T: MatPat is leaving Youtube.
S: Really?
T: Yeah, I'll have to show you the video when we get home.
s: i miss the times when he said i was ness.
C: Who's MatPat?
D: Game Theory.
P: Oh, my. I'll miss him.
S: On a lighter note, Tour De Pizza is working on a Pizza Tower update with a playable Noise.
T: Nice.
Here's the context, I didn't really watch him growing up, but it's still sad. o7, also, I'm pumped for Noise update
MatPat


Noise
 
The gang made it to the beach and had some fun and then they got into the conversation about Matpat and The Noise update (Baker Man's previous post was their conversation) , but then The Noise suddenly appeared out of literal thin air
N: Waog
D: OH GEEZ, WE ARE GONNA DEDEDIE!
Wario pile drives the noise and the noise ragdolls.
S: Why did you have to do that to him Wario!?
s: Even I'm not that harsh
W: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU JUST SOME PILE OF LAZYBONES!
Sans gets angry at this and sends Wario flying out so far that he farted in the ocean, causing an underwater nuke to go off and send him blasting into Balloon Boy's sandcastle destroying it.
BB: YOU BLEW UP OUR SANDCASTLE WAAAHHDNFBSJGKEKGKEMBJSKASDVNIEFJVNPIEJFNVAINVBNEJROAISBFGROEBFNGPTR!
W (irritated): IMMA NUMBER ONE
Wario then attacks Balloon Boy Warioworld style before sending the kid into orbit where the heat of the sun cooked Balloon Boy alive.
W: YAAAAAAHOOOOOOO!!!!
Wario then sang his classic victory theme.
T: Now that that's over with
NOISE IS CALLING PICK UP PHONE, NOISE IS CALLING PICK UP PHONE
W: I'll get it. Yes?
N: *says the whole of the Navy Seals monologue before disconnecting*
W: Guys, I think we're in the target of a hitman
S: And who's the hitman?
W: The Noise. But this is our break day, there's no way that THEY will-

The TV gang entered one by one. Kat and Ana appeared out of smoke, Stolas used his grimoire to create a portal and entered through and Papyrus and Cosmo also followed through as well. Bowser dropped down from the sky and scared away the public, leaving the beach to themselves. And Kirby just flew in.
S: This is the last thing I wanted to happen on a day where we don't feel like we're on drugs...
ST: So which weird foe are we facing off against this time?

Wario's classic victory theme:

PS: Dabbit, I think that you have the ability to cover this song :)
 
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I think I could too.
W: Great, at least it's a beach day I guess.
?: Hmm, what happened?
W: Long story, where were you?
?: Not sure.
s: sorry about earlier, not sure what came over me. pap calls me a lazybones all the time when i don't pick my sock up.
W: Eh, whatever.
S: Glad to see you back.
?: I'm glad to BE back. Don't worry, I'll come in clutch sometime.
T: Hopefully.
PE: I'm-a here too.
D: Well, we Dededidn't die, so now what?
C: I suppose we relax on the beach.
S: You too pretty much just said what I said. Anyway, l agree.
Sonic pulls out his speaker
S: Any requests?
PE: I got one.
Peppino tells Sonic his idea
S: I gotcha.

And so, at least for a little while, they relaxed at the beach
s: hey pap, how do you like the inflatable me i put in there? also, man it's hot here.
P: YOU'RE the one wearing a coat, Sans. Also, that won't fool anybody
s: we'll see.
S: Oh boy... So much water...
W: What's wrong?
S: I'm afraid of water.
W: Okay, I'M COMING IN WITH YOU, SANS!
s: well, i fooled someone with it.
P: Oh, you did.
BeachDay!.png

To everyone asking where Dedede, Kat, Ana, Peppino, Bowser, and Stolas are, art reason is they're just not in the shot, artist reason is I forgot them and it was about 11:30 pm, so when I remembered, I wasn't going to spend another hour drawing them
 
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