Wario Teaches Typing - A Wario Text Adventure

Wario goes to bed and dreams of Tails in the show with him, Sonic, and Dedede
W: Tails? What are you doing here?
T: I don't know, I just got sucked into the TV.
D: There's a giant vacuum!
Wario gets vacuumed and wakes up
W: I should've been able to tell it was dream. Anyway, I'll check the TV guide.
Golden Gale/Silver Zephyr isn't on until noon.
W: Might as well go get breakfast with Sonic and Dedede.
He calls them and asks if they want to go to breakfast
S+D: Ok
They have breakfast
5 pages, wow.
 
*meanwhile at sonics*
Sonic: Why do you always get me to eat at Sonic's *inbetween chilidog*
*Dedede+Wario snickering*
S: And I can't get you a discount wario stop asking
*Dedede+Wario snickering*
S: Everytime you guys come here you barely...
*Dedede + Wario snickering*
S: WHAT IS SO FUNNY ANYWAYS?
W: THEY MAKE FUN OF ME FOR EATING GARLIC!? YOU EAT SO MANY CHILIDOGS THEY NAMED A HOLE-IN-THE-WALL AFTER YOU *D chortles*
S: Listen you guys I was born in '91 and Sonics is from the 60s that means that basically
(W+D crying laughing): YOU WERE NAMED AFTER A DRIVE THRU
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good dogs but I don't get it
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ha ur a fast food
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u named after Mario and you named after Carlos Mencia's laugh.
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Back at Sonic's place
T: Hey Sonic I'm- huh? NOT AGAIN!
Sonic arriving: Hey, sorry, I was having breakfast with Wario and Dedede, and he told me that he had a dream last night that you went with us into the TV somehow.
T: Odd, but I finished checking the duplicator, now let's destroy it.
S: The next episode starts at noon, so hurry.
Clock strikes noon
T: We did it, wait...
S+T: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
In the new episode
W: Hey, I knew that dream meant something.
D: HEEEEEEERE IIIIIIII COOOOOOME!!!
 
?: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
D3 lands on Sonic, and the mystery character lands on Wario
S: GET OFF ME!
D: Alright, hey, you, get off Wario.
?: Ok
T: Wait, what is this? Where am I?
W: This is the TV series The Silver Zephyr, or rather the sequel, The Golden Gale.
D: Hey, over there.
W: Don't say giant vacuum.
?: Huh?
W: Long story
S: No, it's, uh... Should we just call it Dead Meme Land?
not mine just found it on the internet
deadmemeland.jpg
 
I'm not letting the story die like this, I'm reviving it.
D: I think we should make a dash through the memes.
S: Say less.
W: I, uh... I forgot what I was gonna say.
T: TROLLFACE INCOMING!
?: What's going on?
W: These are old memes.
D: Quick, have some Doritos and Mtn Dew?
S: Yeah, those were associated with MLG.
T: Major League Gaming, right?
W: Yeah.
 
*Escape From The City by Ted Poley and Tony Harnell starts playing and suddenly the gang is on a downhill street*
Wario: Uh what is that music....?
Sonic: dont' worry jsut follow me and we'll escape from the city
Dedede: Dude you can run at the speed of sound, wario and I ate a heavy breakfast
*Sonic slaps them across the face with a chaso emerald*
Wa: where do you keep getting these thin....
*sonic takes them by the hand and they start running down hill*
*A giant semi truck with thomas the tank engine and other memes come barreling down*
Sonic: HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
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While running
W: While we're running for our lives, I hope you guys don't slow down intentionally because of it. But have you ever thought about how gen z will eventually run the country?
S: I don't WANT to think about that.
W: I can just see it now, the presidential debate on Fortnite, then when the gen z candidate wins, after the worst rendition of The Star-Spangled Banner you've ever heard, the singer says "Now everybody point to your arms and yell "SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESH!"!".
T: That thought horrifies me.
 
D: Just hear me out, I know y'all thinking from the perspective of the commonfolk but for me ruling over Zoomers is easier than threating Escargoon with salt. Its all apart of our ruling class plan to dumb people down so they can be controlled.
Tails + Wario + Sonic (Stale faced): ......
D (chuckles heartily and puts on a make america great hat)
Tails: You guys I think the memes are starting to get to us...
W: WAAAAH BUT WE'RE OUTRUNNING THEM
T: Just being here is corrupting us! We have to hurry and find 'Golden Wind' or figure a way out of here.
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D: Golden Wind? Is that a...
S: Don't say it
D: J O J O R E F E R E N C E ?
W: Shut up Dedede, Tails is right, also, his name's the Golden Gale.
T: Ok.
W: Oh no, I don't feel too good.
S: You'll be fine, right?
W: I'm not sure, oh boy... HERE IT CO-

T: Well, he's been corrupted too. In this Internet nightmare, I might pass out if I see a bench.
D: C H I P S !
S: Why? Oh...
 
Just before the crew got hit by a bench, a portal transported them into Hell.

W: Waaah! I didn't do THAT many crimes in my life. I'm a good man!
D: (reads extract on Wario in villains wiki) You do know that those crimes all come with a prison sentence, Wario?
W: Shut up chips muncher!

A lanky owl demon approaches the crew

???: May I help you?
S: Ah! Who's there!?
T: I don't like this at all.

The demon reveals itself as Stolas from Helluva Boss

ST: *bird noises*
 
Ah, a new user joins the story.
W: Shut up
He shoots that mf with his magnum
S: Let's see here, what music do we choose? Doom or Devil May Cry?
T: Oh, easily Devil May Cry.
D: Alright then, I have a speaker here, let's do this.
 
Just as the crew were about to leave whilst blasting Devil May Cry on Sonic's speakers, Stolas rises, alive, with a gunshot through his arm.

ST: Blitzy's gun shoots harder than that, nice try.

W: Wait WAHT!? Ugh, guess we'll have to take this owl demon mf with us now...

D3 pulls out his hammer to fight Stolas

D: OH HELL NAW. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE BIRD AND THAT'S ME!

Dedede suddenly dededies due to his untreated dedediabetes

S: DEDEDE NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sonic then cries whilst having PTSD flashbacks of getting CHD due to chili dogs.

ST: I know a safe place we can go to. Follow me.

He opens up a portal and the crew follows, but the Golden Gale corrupts the portal, and the crew ends up in the Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat Movie (1999), much to Wario's horror.
 
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T: Why'd we go from Memeland, to Hell, to here?
S: I'm not sure, but we're gonna need a new accompaniment in the group.
W: Nope, grabbed his reboot card... Nevermind.
S: Another portal already? Here, give me that card in case we get separated.
They go in, and Wario ends up in No Mercy from L4D1, and Sonic and Tails in Dead Center from L4D2
S: Where are we?
?: Poyo.
T: Kirby?
S: Wait, guns here, and that helicopter is going to a mall. Wait... IS THIS LEFT 4 DEAD?!
T: Dead Center, it seems, we'll meet up with the L4D1 crew soon.
S: Who else is there though?
They progress, and then they find a revive closet, they open it, and out comes Dedede
D: Diabetes can't stop me, eheheheh!
Meanwhile, in No Mercy
?: hey, what's up?
?: Is that a human?
?: What happened?
W: Wah!
Wario wakes up and sees 2 skeletons and a plant girl
W: I recognize you guys...
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wait this was less than 24 hours after my previous post my bad
 
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Stolas, Wario, Sonic, Tails, Kirby, Sans, Papyrus, Cosmo, and Dedede kit up with some guns and walk out.
*Tails notices somethings not right*
Tails; Uh guys is something about this guns off???
Wario: Who cares maybe if we can just get to the end of this we can get out of this
Tails: wait!
*the crew hears some zombies coming and a tank too*
Kirby: A tank this early? who put this on nightmare? I'm out *kirby flies off*
*Suddenly a tank skinned like terry crews smashes through a wave of oncoming anime girls making zombie noises*
*everyone but tails*: We're still in the memeverse....
Tails: We're still in the memeverse... BUT... maybe if we beat this level we can still escape. Watch out though this isn't going to be your average run through.
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Stolas: Care to explain what you mean by "not your average run?"

Tails: Turns out that this place is fueled with Warioware energy, so we'll have to beat some meme-themed microgames to get out of here.

sans: guess you could say that we have a "bone to pick" with these zombies hehehe

Papyrus get rabies

Dedede: Alright then, let's get started

Wario: Whether we wanna have a bad time or good time with this, let's do it for all of our sakes

Can't explain the microgames due to character limit but it was really chaotic and the gang defeated the zombies in Warioware GIT style and went into a portal that teleported them to Goofy Goober's a 2nd time, where Jimmy T and the Jimmy Jambouree were plotting Wario's execution as well as plotting to kill off Kat, Ana, Stolas, Sonic, Tails, Sans, Papyrus, Cosmo and Dedede.
 
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Oh boi said:
Stolas: Care to explain what you mean by "not your average run?"

Tails: Turns out that this place is fueled with Warioware energy, so we'll have to beat some meme-themed microgames to get out of here.

sans: guess you could say that we have a "bone to pick" with these zombies hehehe

Papyrus get rabies

Dedede: Alright then, let's get started

Wario: Whether we wanna have a bad time or good time with this, let's do it for all of our sakes

Can't explain the microgames due to character limit but it was really chaotic and the gang defeated the zombies in Warioware GIT style and went into a portal that teleported them to Goofy Goober's a 2nd time, where Jimmy T and the Jimmy Jambouree were plotting Wario's execution as well as plotting to kill off Kat, Ana, Stolas, Sonic, Tails, Sans, Papyrus, Cosmo and Dedede.
Click to expand...
Oh yeah, nothing too much to do with the story btw but for those of you who want context about Stolas, here's a link: Stolas
 
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I'll do the L4D1 side with my mods, adding different enemies depending on the map/characters
W: NIGHTMARE!
Nightmare from FNAF 4 throws a big Mario head at Papyrus
s: hey, watch out bro!
He dodges
P: Nyeh heh heh, did you think that'd hit me, The Great Papyr-
He gets pounced by Withered Foxy
P: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Cosmo gets rode around by Doodlebob
C: Help!
W: Amateurs
Wario and Sans kill Foxy and Doodlebob
s: follow us to mercy hospital.
W: Oh boy, this is No Mercy from Left 4 Dead, love this campaign.
s: oh, me too, i also love the payday heist at this place.
W: Oh yeah, forgot about that, but Ronald McDonald's there, let's Mccrown him.
Sans crowns Ronald with a shotgun
W: Hey guys, there are some weapons here.
He sees a Halo sword
W: Hello beautiful, let's kill some S.T.A.F.F. bots together.
He grabs the Halo sword
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Oh boi said:
Oh yeah, nothing too much to do with the story btw but for those of you who want context about Stolas, here's a link: Stolas

Oh whoops less than 24 hours, my bad
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first of all, the rule is 24 hours OR 2 posts beforehand, hence my post being less than 24 hours after my last post, but second, from your first few additions to this story, i can tell your username will be my reaction when i get a notif that you posted here, because your posts so far have taken us one wild ride
 
Jolly Baker said:
first of all, the rule is 24 hours OR 2 posts beforehand, hence my post being less than 24 hours after my last post, but second, from your first few additions to this story, i can tell your username will be my reaction when i get a notif that you posted here, because your posts so far have taken us one wild ride
Click to expand...
I didn't mean it in a bad way lol, please forgive me. Plus I think that a little chaos doesn't do that much harm...

100 messages already whoa!
 
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