Im not always good at like... "being there" for friends I have made online. I mean like, Im not always responsive for when they want to talk about a problem. And its due to several reasons. I already deal with this alot in my personal life. Like, I have a mother who is sick and cant even go to the grocery store on her own. I have a close friend irl who deals with substance abuse and family issues. And I have to deal with them often already. And I have what I guess you could call a large group of friends online, depending on the person : p Some of them are obviously more personal than the others, and like they are people that Im closer to, and due to the time weve been friends and the junk weve been through Im sorta expected to take more time for them than others : p
And also, I deal with alot of my own issues too. And on top of that, I cant really talk them out like other people can, or seem to want to do. And theres a few reasons for that, too. One big thing with me, it actually causes guilty feelings in me to do that : p And thats not a judgement on anyone else or anything, before anyone takes that personally or whatever : p Im talking about with me. I kinda feel that people, or most people, already have alot they deal with on their own, and dont really want to deal with my issues too : p And I really dont like making it feel like Im putting on a show of my issues and junk.
And Im not even saying that to get people to encourage me to do so, btw : p Its a personal thing for me and Im not really looking to change it : p Its just that this also affects me and how I deal with others when they come to me with problems, too.
Alot of times, when I engage with friends, Im doing it to find like.... release from problems that Im facing. And not in the way of telling them my problems, but as in like just having fun with them, and being able to forget mine for a little while : p So I often find difficulties when other people come to me with theirs, and alot of times Ill end up just turning away and leaving for a few days.
I mean of course there are exceptions to this, like if its a problem I can relate to, something thats personal to me that I can understand, Im much more likely to take the time to try to help in SOME way. But yeah, Im sure alot of people think Im ignoring them when I do that, when Im really just trying to deal with my own issues in my own way : p
Im not really justifying it, I dont really know how in the right or in the wrong I am. Its not that I dont care, and sometimes Ill talk things out with people. But at the same time, sometimes I feel like Im not in the place to do that, and need to get away from problems for a bit. It doesnt seem to be the way most other people handle their problems, though : p
Interaction with people can be tiring sometimes, but at the same time, I often feel like I really need it, and even become stressed when I dont have it : p