tahutoa

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The nightmare fuel was a last addition. As it turned out, sometimes a rushed drawing can be turned into something deliciously creepy. And hey, if that's what turned a little runt nerd into a big sexy nerd (who became another little nerd's sweet loving mama <3) then I'm all for it.
To clarify, you can't fathom how much I love the idea of some little story snippet or one-shot or whatever where you're led to believe that you're following 9-Volt around, but at the very end we find out that this kid in the helmet is really an infantile 5-Volt, and we get some family photo on the wall timeline thing, best summarised as:
"Hey it's 9-volt
"wait why is 9-volt getting taller, hey are those boobs
"wow that's a lot taller, those tits are rockin', who's that guy
"well okay i guess he wasn't too much of a fixture
"oh my god is 9-volt with child, but look that's even taller, this cat hadn't even finished growing yet and is already having babies? damn
"said child has been born and is being held in a weary, gown-clad 9-volt's arms. The newly-made mother smiles teary-eyed into the camera, eyes glistening behind a green visor
"the newborn sleeps, the helmet can be seen resting upon a nearby table. Awwww, sleepy baby
"the child is a bit older, crawling around, is now wearing the helmet
"9-volt and the child are now standing side by si-- oh I get it 9-volt is actually 5-volt and the kid is actual 9-volt, ha ha how'd I not understand this"


It's like the beginning of Toy Story, where you think the photos are Andy but the pictures are actually of Andy's father, of whom he is the spitting image (to clarify further, the house is Andy's grandparents' house, Andy's dad is Andy Sr., he's the one who owned the toys, his Woody doll thought that Andy Jr. was Andy Sr, that's why all of Andy's toys except for Buzz are old as shit, etc. Really cool plot twist, only found out a few months ago).
I'm going to wake up and regret doing all this shit at two in the morning
 

Cresh

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Well that was quite a ride, and a nice theory, although you might have went a little overboard there with your love for 5-Volt! Buuut hey, who can blame you, she is quite nice.
 

tahutoa

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Well that was quite a ride, and a nice theory, although you might have went a little overboard there with your love for 5-Volt! Buuut hey, who can blame you, she is quite nice.
Yeah, I realize this-- it was very late. But, 5-volt is best waifu, and every good waifu deserves to be fleshed out, I think. *sighs, swinging legs while resting chin in hands* quite nice indeed.
 
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TB100

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Well, that's also quite likely, considering my love for Nintendo was sparked when my dad downloaded an NES emulator, GBA emulator, and a metric shitton of ROMs for the latter (there were a couple hundred for the NES one that I remember, but the GBA had thousands from both GB/GBC and GBA). I remember being confused at why the first two Wario Lands were in black and white, and because I couldn't read very well yet, had to memorize the order that the versions of Wario Land II in the explorer window came in so I could play the one that was in color. Interestingly, I don't remember having a ROM for 3, just WL, II, II in color, and 4... I disliked that WL1 Wario didn't have his cap, and disliked WL4 Wario's ugly jagged teeth. That was the main reason why I always opted for II when I played Wario.
On top of this, even though we had a PS2 at the time, I remember being blown away by the graphics in Super Mario Bros. 3-- this was in 2005, mind you-- and later on, we got an N64 emulator and was like holy shit dude looking at SSB64 (even though by this point I was already a huge player of Pac-Man World 2 and the first two Tak games on PS2), and my brain halfway exploded when I got to see Melee on the Dolphin emulator (funnily enough, that's where I learned about the relationship between X and Y axes).

tl;dr by coincidence I got to experience the entire evolution of console gaming in order despite being born in 2000.

So yeah, it's entirely possible. Also, the idea of a younger 5-Volt not knowing how to cope with all the sudden attention is adorable-- like she's got that helmet on and sees all these people, including other girls, checking her out, and just has no idea what the hell is going on.
View attachment 8568
"Sweetie, I didn't get tall until I was like, uhhh 16, I think. 17? I dunno, it's been a while."
"Seventeen?! That's like a million years from now!"
"Yuuuup, you'll be an old man."
"...I remember I was a really late bloomer, though."
*Starts stroking chin*
"Arr, yes, t'was the summer of '93, it was... I went from exactly yarrr height to 5'0 in less than threey months!"
(remembers the incredibly painful growth spurts, the menstruation, the cramped shoes, the mounting distance one had to lean forward to see past one's own chest, the loss of ability to trust anyone's motives due to suddenly being on everybody's fuck list... the constant trips to the thrift store...)
*squint, one-sided grimace* "It was a darrrk and haarrrible time fer all..."
"did you sound like a pirate"
*nodding head with eyes closed* "Yarrr..."
The nightmare fuel was a last addition. As it turned out, sometimes a rushed drawing can be turned into something deliciously creepy. And hey, if that's what turned a little runt nerd into a big sexy nerd (who became another little nerd's sweet loving mama <3) then I'm all for it.
To clarify, you can't fathom how much I love the idea of some little story snippet or one-shot or whatever where you're led to believe that you're following 9-Volt around, but at the very end we find out that this kid in the helmet is really an infantile 5-Volt, and we get some family photo on the wall timeline thing, best summarised as:
"Hey it's 9-volt
"wait why is 9-volt getting taller, hey are those boobs
"wow that's a lot taller, those tits are rockin', who's that guy
"well okay i guess he wasn't too much of a fixture
"oh my god is 9-volt with child, but look that's even taller, this cat hadn't even finished growing yet and is already having babies? damn
"said child has been born and is being held in a weary, gown-clad 9-volt(?)'s arms. The newly-made mother smiles teary-eyed into the camera, eyes glistening behind a green visor
"the newborn sleeps, the helmet can be seen resting upon a nearby table. Awwww, sleepy baby
"the child is a bit older, crawling around, is now wearing the helmet
"9-volt and the child are now standing side by si-- oh I get it 9-volt is actually 5-volt and the kid is actual 9-volt, ha ha how'd I not understand this"


It's like the beginning of Toy Story, where you think the photos are Andy but the pictures are actually of Andy's father, of whom he is the spitting image (to clarify further, the house is Andy's grandparents' house, Andy's dad is Andy Sr., he's the one who owned the toys, his Woody doll thought that Andy Jr. was Andy Sr, that's why all of Andy's toys except for Buzz are old as shit, etc. Really cool plot twist, only found out a few months ago).
I'm going to wake up and regret doing all this shit at two in the morning
432471120558555136.gif

Dayum son! the sheer amount of time and effort you put into this little headcanon is seriously fucking crazy yet at the same time, quite impressive.
Like shit, you even drew images and shit to acompany it and everything, like holy shit...what a ride.

I gotta give you props here, it's quite impressive. :GBWario:
 
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tahutoa

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View attachment 8578
Dayum son! the sheer amount of time and effort you put into this little headcanon is seriously fucking crazy yet at the same time, quite impressive.
Like shit, you even drew images and shit to accompany it and everything, like holy shit... what a ride.

However if I may say something that might debunk your headcanon a slight tad, I don't think the helmet is hers exactly, but rather, it's his dad's.
His dad is stated to be a firefighter in 9-Volt's diary entries, as well as 5-Volt's A Rank character card from Gold
View attachment 8582
and 9-Volt's helmet heavily resembles a firefighter's helmet, complete with ear protectors and a visor
View attachment 8580
View attachment 8583
View attachment 8584
View attachment 8581
So I think it's safe to assume that he logically inherited the helmet from him, not from 5-Volt

It's an interesting theory though and it makes sense.
I definitely agree with the notion though that he inherited a good chunk of his Nintendo collection from her. Considering she's said to be better at games then 9-Volt and her own games are Nintendo based, it makes perfect sense that she herself was a big Nintendo nut back in the day and decided to pass it on to his child.
Yeah, I knew about Mr. Firefighter (found out about him yesterday :shokorashucks: actually-- thus bringing the notion that she was a single mom to an end :warioanger:). While you can't see it here, those little orange domes house those shitty rotating siren lights that you see in cheap plastic ray guns, and they're made to be a reflective metallic blue color.
All the contrasting colors and all-around tacky look just screams cheap toy helmet. Plus, the helmet is facing the wrong way to be a firefighter helm, and more closely resembles a hard hat than a firefighter helmet by far, specifically a run of the mill toy hard hat (interestingly, the model of hard hat we associate with the term is apparently still quite popular in Mexico, if the multiple unrelated Mexican pages showcasing them are to be correlated at all).

1541999412771.png (sprites from the first WW-- lamps aren't very orange here but then again this was also the game that made Wario's nose redder than a tomato, so)

fuck dude why is this so huge how do i shrink this--




also hey guys it's wario's explorer hat

Plus, it's pretty obvious that Fire Man Sam isn't around 9-Volt a lot, to the point where the only reason we know he exists is because 9-Volt and Smash Bros. say that he does. The poor bastard has his bedtime before his dad comes home, and that's assuming the man doesn't live in the firehouse. On top of that, whether or not 9-Volt's dad is his father is up in the air, as well. The fact that he calls him Dad implies that he's been around for quite a while, but you never know.....

As for the electrical wiring, maybe 5-Volt herself could've done it. I mean, she does have supernatural abilities heightened by Mom senses and even further by Epic Gamer Skills, but those Smash Bros. cards also mention that 5-Volt is not only able to create a perfect dish, which for any mortal being should be impossible, but a perfect dish several days in a row, for the sake of consistency-- that sounds a bit like a secret science geek to me, I dunno about you...
1542003809771.png


I am completely in over my head with this and there is no way that 5-Volt is actually this amazing and I am incredibly desperate for an amazing woman to sweep me off my feet but think about it how much do we actually know about her? Even in Diamond City a lot of 9-Volt's shit would be considered a commodity, so where did it come from?
:wargh: Who's to say his mom didn't make it, coincidentally acting as an exaggeration of how as kids we were certain that mom could make anything from scratch and it'd be top shit universally?
where is my tinfoil hat?! :woahalt:


I am way into seemingly simple characters having a really interesting background, especially when the person it belongs to doesn't deem it important enough to talk about, when it totally is. I want 5-Volt to be one of those and be as high-technicaaaal as her son goddammit.

Ha ha, it's getting late again :]

But yes.
Giant tl;dr:
I headcanon that 5-Volt is what we know 9-Volt has the potential to become.
Especially because if you really think about it picturing 9-Volt acting just like his mother as an adult isn't really all that hard.

((PS I kept in the original version of the helmet timeline in case you wanted to see her without the visor))
 

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tahutoa

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Giant tl;dr:
I headcanon that 5-Volt is what we know 9-Volt has the potential to become.
Especially because if you really think about it picturing 9-Volt acting just like his mother as an adult isn't really all that hard.
Really I have to thank you all for bearing with me (especially you TB, you made me feel a lot better about it, and the fireman hat stuff was food for thought, so thanks for that as well :dodgeboi:)
I was actually so nervous when I saw the alerts tab a few hours ago, and now I kind of feel silly for it, yet at the same time I can't help but wonder if I made this headcanon seem kinda shit

1542005039351.png

Ah well, I suppose I could only seem half-crazed since I was coming up with things as I went-- but, buy and large I've had the "5-Volt is essentially 9-Volt Sr." thing in my head for a good year or so already. I don't really have many other WW headcanons besides 'those pig hotels all compete with one another' and that the distances between major locations is a bit farther than it's made to appear.

hey do you think if they had wario trading cards mona would be the Jack for all four suits, and like she's in the different outfits for all her jobs
cuz that would be top kek
 

thegoodguyslose

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I always envisioned Wario as starting out as a dweeby loser who didn't really have much of anything to do with Mario, very insecure and kind of lacking in stamina (note how slowly he gets around in Wario Land 1; that's him pacing himself-- energy conservation).

Personally, I like to think that Wario is just some street rat that grew up picking pockets an' stuff (and that's where the greed and gluttony come from, in addition to Wario already liking the stuff-- a heart once starved, and all that). He didn't have anything at all going for him, really, no purpose in life, a real nobody with no interests other than food and money because he was an urchin. (Note: I personally discount his appearance in Yoshi's Island DS as being canon, because it's just a remake of an established title and only included the extra children as gimmicks. In other words, SMW2: Yoshi's Island is canon, Yoshi DS is not. So when I say that we don't know anything of Wario's past, I mean it's completely shrouded in mystery. As far as I'm concerned, Wario is a name that he took for himself, to distinguish that he was kinda Mario but at the same time "fuck that guy, I'm-a WAARIO." Because really, let's be honest, that's the kind of name you come up with for yourself, not one that you'd force on your children, because at least it's you that suffers from any teasing and not someone else. I wouldn't in a million years name my kid "Tahu" or "Pokey" but for me it'd be an absolute joy to throw the name around and be referred to by, and it's probably the same deal for Wario.)

This is about as far as I can explain without going to an even more considerable amount of detail: it'd take a while to be able to truly articulate my position, and as you can see, this disjointed ramble is the best I can do with whatever amount of time, but I'll try to summarize.

Little Orphan Street Waat sees a whole bunch of Mario stuff everywhere around the time of Mario Bros. 2 or smth, is like "hey I kinda resemble this guy," and decides to copy his every move so maybe he can end up in the same place; insecure cuteass humble beginnings Wario finds himself, starts to develop as a person through the interactions he'd never had the chance to have before then, due to always needing to hide away-- love of food and money comes from being a penniless starving child nobody, everybody who knew him was kind of nyehhh towards due to his larger size, and perceived 'unhinged dullard' status as a result of his cock-eye and habitual fixed grin.
Since nobody gave a shit about him, he kind of had to teach himself damn-near everything, and since he'd always been seen as an idiot, in true WAArio fighting spirit, became this scholarly-ass man that we see in his earliest appearances. Of course, since knowledge and cunning was all that he had, he was kind of boring and a nuisance to everybody that interacted with him, which only made him irritated and disheartened, and all the more determined to be a part of their lives. That is, until the events of Wario Land occur-- suddenly, a whole new world opened up to Wario, and all of a sudden, he was starting to do his own things. Instead of competing with Mario to try to buy Peach some Samus doll, he fucked off to some forest and conquered the whole damn territory... granted, not hard to do when there's only like three people in it.
From there, he continued to experiment in different venues (see Wario Blast and the aforementioned Wario's Woods) before getting his shit stolen from Captain Syrup, and the ensuing adventure caused him to 1) settle on his passion: treasure hunting and exploration and 2) (eventually) develop a taste for short-sleeved shirts. At some point after the adventure, he decided to do something about his shitty stamina, and thus took up weight lifting, and because he's-a gotta show off those sick pythons, he started wearing t-shirts more often than the usual yellow cardigan. His intellect would disappear from his speech (a compensatory tactic to offset his goofy appearance, no doubt), instead being funneled into learning how to program.
He eventually sees some incredibly gaunt man at some point while strolling through town-- the guy tries to pick his pocket, but Wario picks his instead, proceeding to taunt him. Then, halfway recalling his own shitty start, he gets an idea, and offers Waluigi the chance to help-a him out, cause there's this doubles tennis tournament and I want'a get the boatload of cash that comes with the trophy.
Later on, after spending all the stuff from whichever Wario Land on various things, he gets the idea to open up WarioWare as a means of getting fast cash. One thing that's of note is Wario's lack of castle-- this just further symbolizes Wario's change of mindset, how he no longer gives a fuck about whatever the hell Mario's doing, and now cares more about experience over possessions (including the experience of getting a bunch of cash with as few individual moves as possible).

Thank you for attending my Ted Talk.
Stuff like this is why I come to these forums. This is super cool.
 

tahutoa

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Wario draws tattoos on his arms with markers sometimes, just so he can see how he'd look with them. He never gets any real ones, though, because to get something tattooed well is expensive and he doesn't want anyone to mess up his "super cool original designs."
Including but not limited to: him blowing a raspberry, a miniature rendition of the arm he is drawing it on, a clove of garlic with his nose+mustache, the number of copies WarioWare sold, fat stacks, Mario's Tombstone, his tombstone (just to fuck with people; comes with obligatory nose+mustache)
 

tahutoa

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1. Wario doesn't do well in dark environments-- with his pupils almost always being the size of pinpricks, it's safe to say that he has the opposite problem of people with unnaturally dilated pupils (his probably get to be normal size at their largest) and red eyes (you know, since his irises are unnaturally thin).
2. He has a form of 'Idiopathic craniofacial erythema (permanent blushing)' or a mild case of Rhinophyma affecting his nose-- the latter is obviously more likely, but I like the former more, because Wario's nose doesn't look like it'd be bumpy at all-- quite the opposite in fact.
 

Metal

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Yeah, I knew about Mr. Firefighter (found out about him yesterday :shokorashucks: actually-- thus bringing the notion that she was a single mom to an end :warioanger:). While you can't see it here, those little orange domes house those shitty rotating siren lights that you see in cheap plastic ray guns, and they're made to be a reflective metallic blue color.
All the contrasting colors and all-around tacky look just screams cheap toy helmet. Plus, the helmet is facing the wrong way to be a firefighter helm, and more closely resembles a hard hat than a firefighter helmet by far, specifically a run of the mill toy hard hat (interestingly, the model of hard hat we associate with the term is apparently still quite popular in Mexico, if the multiple unrelated Mexican pages showcasing them are to be correlated at all).

View attachment 8586(sprites from the first WW-- lamps aren't very orange here but then again this was also the game that made Wario's nose redder than a tomato, so)

fuck dude why is this so huge how do i shrink this--




also hey guys it's wario's explorer hat

Plus, it's pretty obvious that Fire Man Sam isn't around 9-Volt a lot, to the point where the only reason we know he exists is because 9-Volt and Smash Bros. say that he does. The poor bastard has his bedtime before his dad comes home, and that's assuming the man doesn't live in the firehouse. On top of that, whether or not 9-Volt's dad is his father is up in the air, as well. The fact that he calls him Dad implies that he's been around for quite a while, but you never know.....

As for the electrical wiring, maybe 5-Volt herself could've done it. I mean, she does have supernatural abilities heightened by Mom senses and even further by Epic Gamer Skills, but those Smash Bros. cards also mention that 5-Volt is not only able to create a perfect dish, which for any mortal being should be impossible, but a perfect dish several days in a row, for the sake of consistency-- that sounds a bit like a secret science geek to me, I dunno about you...
View attachment 8590

I am completely in over my head with this and there is no way that 5-Volt is actually this amazing and I am incredibly desperate for an amazing woman to sweep me off my feet but think about it how much do we actually know about her? Even in Diamond City a lot of 9-Volt's shit would be considered a commodity, so where did it come from?
:wargh: Who's to say his mom didn't make it, coincidentally acting as an exaggeration of how as kids we were certain that mom could make anything from scratch and it'd be top shit universally?
where is my tinfoil hat?! :woahalt:


I am way into seemingly simple characters having a really interesting background, especially when the person it belongs to doesn't deem it important enough to talk about, when it totally is. I want 5-Volt to be one of those and be as high-technicaaaal as her son goddammit.

Ha ha, it's getting late again :]

But yes.
Giant tl;dr:
I headcanon that 5-Volt is what we know 9-Volt has the potential to become.
Especially because if you really think about it picturing 9-Volt acting just like his mother as an adult isn't really all that hard.

((PS I kept in the original version of the helmet timeline in case you wanted to see her without the visor))
fuck yo couch

 

Boppity BopPop

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Wario inhaled garlic powder once.
It's his drug.:^)
Some more I wanted to add:
-Wario gives terrible advice
-Wario would be a total uncle
-Wario is a terrible liar
-He once tried to scam people through fake giveaways.
- He tries to go to the gym more often but he can't get his lazy ass off the couch
-Wario once bought 8 pizza boxes for his employees but instead ate them all
-Tells bad Dad jokes
- He has a to do list that consists of annoying people, sleeping, eating, etc.
- For an hour He'd sit on his throne in his castle and laugh (like in wario world)
-If Bowser ever told mario and the gang to hurt each other for money, they would all disagree except for wario, who'd sweat profusely.
- Spends 30 minutes in the bathroom "perfecting his look"
- Spends 10 minutes complimenting himself in the mirror
- Cried at a sad movie when his favorite character dies, but tried to hide it by saying his "eyes were sweating"
-Picked his nose so much it started bleeding and he had it get it checked out
-Would smoke a cigarette if offered
-Once swore in front of the younger employees (Kat,ana, 9-volt, Penny, Ashley) and never apologized or tried to hide it.
-Can lift his whole car
-Will lose it if you beat him in a board game.
-Would break every bone in your body for a cracker
-Punched a shark in it's nose
-Burned down a village once

Oki dokie that's enough ^_^
 
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TB100

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Ashley is secretly a Monster Hunter and Zelda fan (Really, she's kinda of a fantasy RPG type of gamer in general),

The reason why she kept it a secret is because she wants to have a reputation of someone who has no time for silly little things like video games.
Though it was never a very well kept secret to begin with and as she opened up to the cast more and what not, it's not really much of a secret that she's one anymore.

Yeah...only one this time, I do have more, but not feeling for a list this time.
Also totally not inspired by the badge arcade collabs a couple of years back, nope, not at all.
 
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